8 Disgusting Medical Cakes Only A Nurse Could Love
May 12, 2015 WARNING: In case the title didn't tip you off, GROSS STUFF AHEAD.
***
Some of you pointed out that we missed Nurses' Week last week, but as luck would have it, today is International Nurses Day! So allow me to rectify last week's omission...
...with a rectum:
;)
Bah-dum-BUM!
My mom was an RN for most of my childhood, so I've seen firsthand how hardworking, devoted, and utterly strange nurses can be.
For example, nurses don't get grossed out. Like, EVER.
Exhibit A:
;)
Before you ask: yes, yes they are.
(And it only gets worse from here, people. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)
Nurses can also be notoriously hard to impress with your collection of boo-boos as a child. It's like, "Oh, did you bump your widdle knee? I WATCHED SOMEONE'S BRAIN FALL OUT TODAY."
;)
"So, yeah, I think you'll be fine."
(Ok, my mom never actually said that to me. But I'm sure she thought it.)
And I've heard of cobwebs on the brain before, but I honest-to-goodness never wanted to SEE it.
Hurk.
Nurses can also develop a... shall we say... UNIQUE sense of humor about the human body.
;)
(For a proctologist, ordered by his nursing staff.)
Yep, if there's one thing I've learned from 7 years of looking at cakes, it's that you medical types REALLY like your butt cakes.
But it's not just butts!
;)
Phlebotomy? PlebotoYOU, am I right?
(John: "That... doesn't even make sense."
Me: "Shhhhh...")
And poop charts. What is it with the poop charts?!
;)
PLEASE STAHP.
I'm not sure which is more horrifying: the fact that this next one is supposed to be a spinal cord, the fact that it's a groom's cake, or those freaky-ass yellow things:
;)
[shudder]
I left the worst for last, though, just to be sure only the strongest of stomach would make it this far.
(And also because John is VERY against my posting this one.)
Last chance to turn back!
And hey, even you medical types may want to put the coffee down. Just sayin'.
Ready?
It's really gross!
You're still scrolling.
Well...
Ohhh kaaaay.
;)
I AM SO SORRY.
Thanks to Tricia D., Alexandra S., Katherine S., Amber S., Anony M., Lisa S., Rebecca, & Genevieve L. for the hand out.
*****
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Reader Comments (89)
I'm a nurse - totally not grossed out AND would totally eat them. Cake is cake - suitable to be consumed at ANY time of the day or night :-)
What's on the arm? Please tell me is it really supposed to be maggots? My God! Happy Birthday Jen May God bless you with many, many more! Enjoy yourself!
Very nice Midnight Writer! Gilbert and Sullivan would be proud.
Strangely, the horrible angle of the foot in the second cake bothers me far more than the maggots do...
Oh man I am laughing so hard at the poop chart. At least the frosting was supposed to look like that this time lol. They certainly did that well though I don't know who is going to want to eat that cake now.
My mum was a nurse and, yeah, really hard to impress with "booboos" XD so unlike all the other kids who went bawling to their mummys with each tiny scratch, my sister and I would shrug, wipe off the blood and dirt and continue playing, knowing the best we could hope for at home would be the large bottle of iodine. On the other hand, she always took us seriously when we were really sick and scared every doctor into giving us their best private practice´s medical treatment.
And I remember nurses are always tired. And always hungry. So cheers, dear nurses, enjoy your coffee and your cake, ´cause you deserve it for doing one h*ll of a job!
Michelle the first one is dirty because it's CHOCOLATE cake inside!!!
(Couldn't help it... it had to come out!!!)
I have several friends (nurses, medical receptionists, transcriptionists) who would love the Bristol cake. Maybe that should be my new criteria for choosing friends?
a) Do you know what the Bristol Stool Chart is?
b) If I had one in cake form, would you flinch at the thought of eating it? (mind you, if they said yes then more cake for me!)
My Mom, Dad and most of my Aunts were nurses while I was growing up. I second you on the there is no impressing them with boo-boos thing. The rule in our house was if it was broken or bleeding (profusely) you know where the soap and water is.
That last cake looks so much like a burn I wince just looking at it!
Also, happy birthday!
Actually, most of those are pretty good! Not as gross as I have come to expect from this site.
<squinting> I can definitely say my spine doesn't look like that, though. More screws.
As a volunteer for the Breastfeeding Association, we make packs of useful information for new mums. One of the handouts is a Poo Chart of normal baby poo colours for the first 2 weeks. Apparently a great favourite with bored Dads waiting in the hospital for partner and baby to wake up. What can I say? When it's someone you love, poo isn't really that disgusting.
Is it wrong that the Bristol Stool Chart had me in tears laughing? It's very, very well done. I do hope it was chocolate cake inside it.
HAPPY Belated Birthday, Jen! My mother was a nurse, too. It didn't matter what we'd broken or how bad we were bleeding, it was always, "Get up. You're not hurt. Just a minor flesh wound." And yes, she's British so we got a very stiff-upper-lip with our upbringing! :-) H.
P.S. Mum is an awesome baker & loves Cakewrecks. She has obliged our requests for our own cake wrecks. I think she would be too proper to eat any of these cakes, tho. In public, anyway.
I think the yellow things on the spinal cord cake were supposed to be ribs.
I agree with Amanda! As a nurse I must say, these are awesome! Especially the arm for Lidia the phlebotomist! And Midnight WRiter, my co-workers and I just gave you a standing ovation! Bravo!
As an operating room nurse these are very tame compared to general topics of conversation where I work.
My husband and my two siblings are in the medical field, we've been banned from work conversations at the dinner table. The conversations degenerate quickly and typically result in lost appetites. If you plan it right then no one else wants dessert but the four of us. Lol
That last one reminds me of when I accidentally gave myself a second degree burn while cooking. All the skin on the back of my hand sloughed off. Hurt like the blazes, and since I was home alone while my mom was on vacation, I didn't get it treated for two weeks (I was a teenager and couldn't drive.) Wrapped it in toilet paper and scotch tape (we were out of Band-Aids.)
Good times.
Mel, is that you at midnight?
@Marilyn: Thanks....
@Chicago RN: Thank you, I appreciate that...as I also appreciate what you and your colleagues do day after day....
@Nobodee Home: yes....
Whoever said that last one looks like a motorcycle injury was dead on. That's exactly how distressingly large patches of my husband looked after his accident. Didn't pick his scabs (we were instructed to change the dressings regularly so the wound wouldn't get crusty), but I did have to pick out bits of gravel that kept appearing.
Nurses would not only eat these, we would eat them while looking at photos of real wounds and fistulas, as we discuss the best way to contain the copious drainage. This is why we have a whole week dedicated to our awesomeness! I hope my fellow nurses had a happy Nurses' Week!
eww what type of cakes are these.. will puke if anyone makes this type of cake for me..
I'm lovin these medical monstrosity cakes. The only true cakewreck was the one that was supposed to be a spine - all the others, for me, were Sunday Sweets. I'd eat them anytime as long as the maggots weren't real. LOL
*licks cupcake icing*
meh.
I'm an RN and yes, we have a really strange sense of humor. It's part of how we cope with some of our jobs. LOL That being said, I love these cakes and would totally order one for a colleague!
The last one appears to be a healing full-thickness burn on the dorsum of the hand in a brown-skinned individual. Kudos to the wound care RN who encouraged the growth of that lovely granulation tissue! Woohoo!
As a phlebotomist, I enjoyed your joke, Jen! I was torn between laughter and incredulity that someone actually made my job into a cake!
My mom is a nurse. I feel your pain...
Best part:
"I WATCHED SOMEONE'S BRAIN FALL OUT TO DAY" because it was in all caps. That is all.
WHY does Dr. Mathews' "butt cake" look like it wants to give someone a BIG WET KISS?!?! *hurk*
After 50 years of nursing in most specialties - including midwifery - I loved these. The stool chart one was especially good and the last one was too. As previously said - I could eat those while looking at the pictures. YUM
The phlebotomy cake makes complete sense, but only to a phlebotomist or MLT (medical lab technician) and it's actually quite accurate. The contraption sticking out of the arm is commonly called a butterfly needle because it has "wings" on either side of the needle. It also has a long piece of tubing that connects to an adapter (as in the cake above) and the blood is collected into tubes attached to the adapter. Personally I only use that particular set up for a couple types of situations, but it's actually the easiest one to depict via cake.
They really nailed the anus on that butt cake for Dr. Matthew (no pun intended LOL)
scarred. for. life. 8.|
Human nurses are proudly weird (thankyew, thankyew)!!
Also, may I have a second helping of Stool #3? Smooth, but with some texture... :-D
I've read places that if you go into a profession surrounded in death and injury, such as nurse, doctor, police officer, or fire fighter, you have to have a very black sense of humour about it, or you'll go insane.
My mom loved those anatomy cakes, and she isn't even a nurse!
My dad said-"they look fascinating"
These are all great, freakily laughable, but the one with the maggots totally grossed me out!
Loved the cakes. Appreciate the detail. Not too gross. Especially liked the poop chart cake.
Oh, sooooo up my street!!!