The Colors, Man. THE COLORS.
Three words, bakeries:
Mandatory Drug Testing.
I mean, I'm not saying anything - I'm NOT - but I'm just saying.
It's a butt. That sprouted a face. With pigtails.
Any questions?
Because if not, *I* have one:
Why is this cake trying to slap me?
"Up high?" Yeeeeah, I think someone's high enough, thank you.
I should mention that none of today's cakes are special orders, btw; they were all found hanging out in the regular display case, like it weren't no thang, chicken wang!
Aaaand now I will never use that phrase again.
Hey, you know that thin line between genius and insanity?
Yeah, we crossed that MILES back:
I call it, "Surrealistic Post-Modern Plastic Flotsaminism."
OH BOY!
These cookies taunt me, you guys. They taunt me with their smug presence, defying rational explanation and blowing virtual raspberries in the face of all common sense.
Plus they won't stop staring.
Of course we can all debate the merits of bakery drug testing, but in the end, it is the bakers themselves who get the final word:
Ahh, excellent choice.
Thanks to Jen & Jake, Steph H., Jeffrey A., Cinthya F., Sarah S., & Lauren L. for giving us something to squack about.
*****
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Reader Comments (73)
Ok, I have stared right back at those cookies for quite some time now. I have squinted, tilted my head, tried to view them sideways and upside down...heck, I even stood on my desk to get a new perspective and I still can't figure out what in the world they are supposed to be. Maybe if I could score whatever the bakers were on? :) Thanks for yet another day of giggles and "whaaaa?" :-D
Also? Sharyn - I just adore your comments.
Oh john (THOJ) I heart you, and I'm as sober as a judge, an Oregonian judge:)
To squack or to not?
It's hard to answer that when
cookies be watching.
Has no one googled "SQUACK"? It has a few definitions on urban dictionary, one of which involves a ping pong ball.
Oh, I am laughing and loving this post, and all the comments. This one has to be up there in my favorites. =-)
I am totally going to start using "Squack!" as my last word in arguments.
@Haiku Joy - Particularly hilarious today!
Jose Parrot, perfect! I heard that in James Taylor's voice. Thank you, and I'll never hear that song the same way again.
Are the cookies supposed to be the squirrel character from the Ice Age movie?
@Jodee: me, too...I can't believe I wrote "Butt-Man"... :-)
Ohhh Myyyy SMH
Cake #1 - I'm sorry, but all I can see there is a camel toe, a very creepy CCC (ptooey!) one *shudders*
Cake #2 - Possibly the Wreckerator was aiming for a sandy beach background with a hand sticking out of the sand...and someone being buried alive asking for as much help as the cake itself is...other than that, I got nothin!
Cake #3 - This cake of course being made in commemoration to the submarine the HMCSS Golden Penis that sank back in the war, and yes, all of the seamen on board fought valiantly and tried to swim for their lives, but none survived. *grin*
Those cookies however, have GOT to be the newest rendition of the missing link! How else could they be so captivating and ... um... well, CREEPY!!! My nightmares will never be the same, since I now will think of them as Scotsmen, especially while watching my episodes of Outlander HAHA!!
And I will definitely HAVE to find a way to use Squack in a sentence...soon.
I did NOT think that was a "chicken wing" 8-|
Cake 3 defies all ... well, description, logic, sense. What does the other half look like?
Uh...were these all made in Colorado or Washington?
Great now those cookies are going to haunt my dreams tonight. They look like someone took a leaf cookie cutter and turned it into a possessed squirrel lol.
are those cookies upside down (and violated) fleur de lis??
meanwhile, that chicken wang cake is such an OFF color....totally unappetizing.
I think cake #3 is for a tea party? ;)
Chicken wang...help me...
See, now....#3 has me wondering if that's a....umm raised shape or an indented shape....ya know the kind where the eyes follow you...wait in this case would it be one eye following you???? My grandmother would slap me with her rosary beads and tell me I'm going to hell for that, right after she emailed that pic to her best friend......
Those weird bird heads actually like a little like the creatures in Labyrinth movie with David Bowie,
So am I to understand that grocery store bakers don't have any guidlines for the off shelf cakes? Actually, I should ask my big sister about this...she manages a grocery store.
Also, I've only heard the word 'Squak' used as a crude term for female genitalia (similar to the 'C' word). Just thought I'd point that out before the commenters here start using it and getting weird or offended looks.
What is that fourth cake!?!
Is it Mickey Mouse or a skull with pigtails and plastic Mickey Mouse heads!?!?!
SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure the cookies are an upside-down fleur-de-lis, and that they are supposed to be the character from Despicable Me- the main one whose name I don't remember....he adopts the 3 girls and has minions. Y'know.
Those cookies are sick folk, guys... See the ice pack on top of their heads? The red nose from blowing and sniffling all day? and the wide eyes... with the thousand yard stare from... Not enough sleep, I think? Pretty sure it's to warn people to be careful of the flu!
That next to last one looks like one of the witch sisters from Legend of Zelda, Kotake or Koume.