No Butts, No Cuts, NO BUTTS
September 1, 2014 (Warning: Mildly traumatizing cake ahead. Not safe for overly inquisitive children.)
For Labor Day I thought I'd continue one of my personal labors of love:
Convincing bakers to stop butting in on baby shower cakes.
;)
Now, see, this next cake was fine. Why dump half a toddler on it?
;)
'Cuz here's the thing, bakers: even when a butt cake is well executed, it still looks, well...
;)
...executed.
But(t) no matter what I say, you guys just keep making them!
And if anything, the butts are getting MORE disturbing.
;)
o.0
;)
WHOOPS.
Not a butt. My bad.
[evil grin]
That said, some of these are getting SO ridiculous it's actually kind of awesome:
;)
Heck, I want to see this turned into a sit-com. We'll call it Two And A Half Babies. Short Stack here will wear a cute little hat on her waist stump and be perpetually waddling into walls. The other two babies will take turns stealing her boyfriends. Eh?
Oh, you know you'd watch it.
***
HAPPY LABOR DAY!
Thanks to Andrea B., Renee W., Anony 1 & Anony 2, Kiri S., & Susanna F. for the rear view wreckage.
*****
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Reader Comments (59)
Oh my poor hubby came in just as that not butt cake came up and now we are both traumatized lmao. Thanks wreckerators for scaring us to death and now we won't eat cake ever again.
Oh, God! The only thing worse than the yellow poop legs is the Cabbage Patch birth on the next cake. I could have gone my entire life without seeing that, and now that it has been seen, it cannot be unseen. MY EYES, MY EYES!
Is that a chcken in cake #4?
Wow, I feel special!!!! I got to see the pizza head cake...and comment on it... and now I get to see the monkey butt cake. YAY!!!
Also, can't believe there has been some "unrest" over the cabbage patch cake...it's HUMOR, for crying out loud. Someone ordered that cake, someone made that cake and someone ATE that cake. GAG!
J and Jthoh, Thank you for all your hard work...no, that's not what I mean. What I mean is, Thank you so much for sharing your sense of humor with the many, many, many people who appreciate it!!
Me thinks someone simply noticed THEMSELVES in the "butt" cakes posted.....sheesh. Get a grip, people. I can't get past the fact that the vajayjay cake is apparently for a baby named Toe. I'm so confused. lol
Planning the future baby shower for the future grandbaby...
No baby butt cake - CHECK!
No belly cake - CHECK
No vajayjay cake - DOUBLE CHECK!
Conclusion? I think we'll have pie and cookies!
I think the yellow legs have six toes! Really disturbing. Where is the head supposed to be? Buried in the ground?
I want to see the cake made with the other half of the baby! Although, how you would suspend the cake to see the head-smiling-out-of-the-termporal-anomaly under the cake, I can't say. <waves magic wand/sceptre of impossibility> I need a retired engineer with a talent for baking here!
I find the whole baby-cake thing makes me question ALL cake decorating. It's clearly not okay to eat a child. Why would we think it's okay to eat a pastoral scene full of daisies and fluffy bunnies? Why would you choose to eat something covered in poisonous flowers like lillies? Why do we feel the need to put an inch-thick layer of sugar on top of an already horribly sweet food? So many questions, and NONE of them can be answered "forty-two" with any degree of magesty or calm! AACK!
I sent this post to a pregnant friend, wanting to be as helpful as I can for her future baby shower arrangements. She replied with this horrific comment:
"My mom once went to a baby shower where instead of a cake they had a baby toilet thingy with yellow jello and a candy bar in it..."
Just when you don't think these things can get any more tasteless, you get a surprise.