Cinco de Mayo Madness
May 5, 2014 Happy Cinco de Mayo! Or, as it's known in the original Spanish, [rolling Rs dramatically] Cinco de Mayo.
As you may know, Cinco is about celebrating Mexican heritage, culture, and those big yellow hats drunk people wear:
;)
What you may not know is that Cinco is also a celebration of drippy cheese volcanoes:
;)
"But it's MY drippy cheese volcano. Nachos."
Plus... submarines?
;)
Yeesh, it's like trying to read hieroglyphics. What do you suppose "sperm" "3" "Mayo" means?
Which reminds me: what does happen when a baker can't fit the word "Cinco," and decides to use the number instead?
Well, as Reginald here found out, that depends on if the baker knows how many "Cinco" is:
;)
SO CLOSE.
And finally, for your Cinco de Mayo pleasure:
What appears to be angry organ meat...
...on the beach...
...playing maracas.
;)
I am terrified beyond the capability for rational thought.
Olé!
Thanks to Colin W., Alicia, Joanna A., Reginald R., & John M. for the real Cinco Swim situation.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (46)
El submarino de mi padre descansa sobre los pastelitos de celebración. Oui?
Sung to: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
Cinco, Cinco, so bizarre
Sombrero or nacho bar?
Submarine code? Tell me why.
Native speakers start to cry.
Cinco, Cinco, so bizarre
Meat lump, tell me what you are.
According to my
Guide to Cake Hieroglyphics,
"Cinco" means "cha-ching!"
Maracas? Or greasy moldy turkey legs? Hummmm...
For that last cake, "dear God, what is that thing?" is the only thought I could muster.
What the actual hell is that last one s'posed to be?
Today is my birthday. Please, don't give me one of those cakes!...but I will gladly accept tacos and margaritas
When it comes to these cakes... Hold de Mayo.
Bwahahaha Sharyn and Haiku joy :D. If those cakes were any worse, it could cause an invasion by Mexican forces O_o
Forget the cakes. I'm sitting here trying to roll my Rs dramatically while saying "Cinco de Mayo."
I think I can offer some clarity around the seemingly misplaced numerals. The "sperm" "3" "mayo" was clearly intended for my birthday celebration, as my birthday is May 3. The sperm represents my father's contribution to my birth (nine months earlier) (since all he did during the actual birth and 24-hour labor preceding it, according to my mother, was complain about his hunger) (don't worry, 41 years later they're still happily married) (and they had six other children after me, so you see it didn't really destroy the family) (not that I recommend newly becoming fathers complaining about their own discomfort rather than focusing on that of their wife's) (but I digress).
20 de Mayo represents cinco in ternary, only it's actually seis. This is due to everything in Latin America happening "mañana."
Well to be fair, "cinco" does sound quite a bit like "score" so I think the number 20 on that cake is entirely understandable.
Happy May 20th, the feast day of Saint Lucifer. Am not kidding. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer_of_Cagliari
It was Cinco, Cinco de Mayo
Big yellow hat on that drunk guy-oh
Cheese volcano? No that's my nachos
Don't matter cause it's 5 de Mayo
Submarine? NO!
It's sperm 3 mayo!
Math is in question and organ meats fashion
for the Cinco...they just got wrecked.
The peppers on that last cake are actually rather well done. So well done, actually, that I wonder if they're real. Especially considering the apparent skill level of the rest of the cake decorating...
Ok, I finally figured it out. It is a pink sombrero!
Cinco de Mayo is actually a celebration of Mexico,drippy cheese volcanoes,and margaritas. Anyone who mocks this sacred "holiday" is just trying to be El Jerko. The drippy cheese represents our drunkenness and the volcano represents a crappily done up sombrero. We all have that one weird holiday, so let's SHUT UP AND CELEBRATE!
You know some thing's wrong when you can't tell if it's supposed to be a sombrero or a placenta. Might be the cake, might be your vision, but SOME THING'S not right.
It's been a while since cake made me throw up. After that last mess I can't say that anymore.
@Sharyn ~ A new song to sing to all the new babies being born around here! SCORE!
@Haiku Joy ~ I've missed you my friend!
I figured it out!!!!! Hunk of meat in the last pic is a pink SOMBRERO decorated with flowers.... a very poorly done one but that's what it is... yes that took like 15 minutes of squinting at the enlarged picture to figure out O.o I have no life.
Let's HOPE those are maracas.
20 de Mayo is an effort on the part of the baker to save his/her customers money. It can be used for 4 consecutive Cinco de Mayos.
On the last cake, I believe there is a head in the top corner. If so, it is a cake depicting an amply proportioned woman (with no legs) who passed out while playing maracas during a Cinco de Mayo party. Note the piñatas in the left and right corners as evidence which, I believe, depict the traditional Cinco de Mayo "rojo, amarillo y azul" frilly triceratops.
Apparently Reginald never found out how you get to Sesame Street.
Oh--I almost forgot: Happy Revenge of the Fifth!
"angry organ meat"
Bwahahahahahahahaha
@Sharyn and @HaikuJoy -- I am in awe as always ladies
Ole!
@Sandy - that made me laugh so loud I disturbed the dog!! I'll be singing it all day now!! :P
@Julie: you officially win the award for "most parentheses in a blog comment." Would you like to celebrate with some cake?
On the last cake, is that supposed to be a floppy beach hat? Very poorly colored? If not, then I give up.
"Or, as it's known in the original Spanish, [rolling Rs dramatically] Cinco de Mayo."
I read this in my brain with Spanish Buzz's voice (from Toy Story 3).
The second one is obviously an homage to legend of Xptzlptzltl as it is known in the Mayan language. It erupted in 1543 spewing hot cheese sauce all over the invading Spaniards whose only protection was to cover themselves in tortillas as they pleaded to God for mercy. Later, they found that the cheese-covered tortillas were a tasty snack to sustain them as they buried their dead. A mishearing of "el queso" and "dios" became "quesadillas." So now you know!
The sperm is obviously the reaction of someone who REALLY hates mayo (my ex is a prime example) and can wax eloquent on its white, viscous, semen-like properties. Doesn't matter that it's not that kind of Mayo. The damage is already done.
@ Sandy, now I have a Copa Cabana ear worm, oh well, before that it was Wrecking Ball, which, if you knew me, would make you shudder as much as I was...so I shall happily be stuck with Barry for the rest of the day...until I can put on some RUSH and rock out.
@ SuBee and Sharyn- witty and clever as always...
To me, the last one looks like a baby shower cake, with a shrunken head on the right, immediately above the pair of wonky boobies, next the bump, above splayed feet wearing multicolored shoes. so perhaps it is a cake symbolizing the birth of Mexico?
I'm pretty sure in the last wreck they confused a KENTUCKY DERBY HAT with a SOMBRERO!!! Or had a left over Kentucky Derby hat cake and tried to recycle I!!! lol Either option is unacceptable to Mexican culture!! lol Now pass me my Margarita!!!
I've been trolling this wonderful site for a while... But today have to tell you all that your comments have made my day... The "organ meat" remark had me in stitches... Thanks for the laughs!!
The last cake is scary. My only thought was severed clown head.
Closing the office early for food and margaritas! Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?
I wonder if anybody brought cake?
That last cake is either an ugly hat, or the plastic vomit creature from "Operation: Annihilate!"
Check Queen Elizabeth's head to decide.
Might be meat, might be cake...it looks....like meat cake. -George Carlin
Yikes to all of these things lol. Especially that last one that looks like an angry octopus with maracas. Scary thing.
"sperm" "3" "Mayo" means - I have left three sperm in your mayonnaise.
I know I'm late to the party but yesterday was actually my birthday and I was busy eating not wrecked chocolate cake! As a May 5th birthday girl, I've gotten a couple themed cakes and I think I know what that last cake is. Sometimes the stars align and calendar days collide as a result, Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby are the same day. That's a derby hat (maybe) or totally a lump of undigested meat.
TheCreepyTribble,that was beautiful.
I Wasn't Going To Click, But Then I Saw The First Letter Caps And Couldn't Stop Myself!
Hahaha Rolling R's dramatically...
I was like...but there are no r's in...hahaha that's the most I've laughed at the beginning of a post ever ever ever...
That angry organ meat looks like's it's playing its sister angry organ meats, which are distinctly more maraca-shaped Ha!
These cakes are pretty funny. But, I am sad that there are some commentators who want to stereotype the Mexican Culture as sombreros, tacos and margaritas. There is so much more to it than that. But, I doubt any of them bothered to even look up what Cinco de Mayo is.
Two words.....¡¡¡AY CARAMBA!!!