DONUT TEST ME, MAN
June 7, 2013 In honor of National Donut Day, I give you:
13 Ways To Wreck a Perfectly Good Donut
(Because what are donuts, really, except small, holey cakes? That are deep-fried? I rest my case.)
1) Add poop:
;)
2) Add poop with a worm crawling out of it:
;)
3) Or a worm crawling out of... um... these things:
;)
4) Put One Freaky Eye On It:
;)
("I'm meeeel-ting!")
5) Put Four Freaky Teeth On It:
;)
6) Make it angry:
;)
7) Make it scary:
;)
(Then tell kids it's the Easter Bunny.)
8) Make it confusing:
;)
(Wha...?)
9) Glue a bunch together with frosting and call it a "donut cake."
;)
(Hang on, what fresh abomination is this?)
10) Or stack them and call it a "wedding cake."
;)
OY.
11) Misspell it:
;)
S-U-A! S-U-A!
12) Or do this to it:
;)
Ick.
13) Or, if all else fails, this:
;)
"I'm sorry, but could I get a little more frosting on this? And maybe another waffle cone? With a cream pie on top? And some Gummi Bears? And one of those King Cakes? And then wrap it in a few dozen pancakes? Yeaaaah, that'd be greeeeeat."
Thanks to April R., Amy N., Susanna C., Ashley W., Aubrey L., Janet V., Sarah B., Malisa I., Jennifer S., Rachel K., Carol G., Sheriden C., & Rivit, and no, I won't make you one of those, because a girl's got to have standards. Plus I'm fresh out of King Cakes.
Reader Comments (116)
Correction on that last (per Huz): sugar cone, not waffle.
Yeah, my days at the ice cream shop @ UCF (go knights) have served me well.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/50979/17-extreme-donuts-look-theyll-kill-you
I am embarrassed enough to say I recognize donuts 2, 3, 4, 6, and 12. I used to work as a large chain store bakery manager that "specialized" in what they called "fun kid donuts!" While most of the donuts in those pictures are messy, that is the "corporate standard" design for those donuts. Horrifying! Cake or yeast donuts with puddles of cake icing in the middle with gummy worms or bears poking out. Caterpillars (twist donuts with colorful icing and eyes and a smiling mouth) were in my nightmares! Needless to say even though these donuts were marketed to children, most kids steered clear of them.
@sendingtheclowns: Whether or not I've been fishing for them, I would never turn down a Twinkie. Thank you kindly. :)
@Craig: A friend of mine is a Chocodile-holic. I'm pretty sure he still has a bunker full of Chocodiles. Now, the trick is to get him to share...
Number 7 reminds me of Donnie Darko. And that ain't ok.
I see Frank. "You have 28 days."
This page currently has tears running down my face from laughing so hard! I just discovered this page, thanks for the giggles.
Not surprisingly, the blue smurf poop is no more appetizing than the regular stuff.
I'll take 'em all (assuming that's only chocolate and not something else - heh), just don't tell my dentist or my waistline. ;)
At least they didn't they to make them emulate a maxi pad...
It was just pointed out to me that #11 might not be misspelled, just a V that looks like a U . The Student Veterans of America or S.V.A., is a national organization that helps veterans and they're families go to college.
Very strange stuff.
#8 is just a dildoughnut. Not a big deal.
Holly Folly, I can assure you that looking at sugar won't give you diabetes of either kind. Nor will eating it. I'll end the diabetes rant before I even start because my goal isn't to ruin the fun of the comments on Cake Wrecks. But now you know :-)
What in the name of all that is hole-y are those things (see what I did there)?? I love doughnuts, but these are atrocities!!
#7 looks like Bunnicula...
I just got contact diabetes......