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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug082012

I Think I Get The Picture

"Hi, I'd like to order a monkey cake for my son, but I want to make sure there won't be any mix-ups like what happened last week."

"Oh? What happened last week?"

"Well, I brought in a reference for my nephew's monkey cake - a paper party plate -  and you guys just took a picture of it and glued the picture to the cake!"  

 "I see. And that's bad because....?"

"Because I just wanted the monkey! Not the paper plate!!"

"OH! Oh, yes! Of course. Sorry, I thought that was some kind of a pun."

[silence]

"So...look, this time, just to be extra clear, I brought you a picture of the actual cake I want you to make. Here:"

 

 

"So you want a cake that looks just like this?"

"That's right, a cake that looks JUST LIKE THAT."

[silence]

"I think we can do that."

"Good. Thank you. I'm so glad we got that cleared up."

 

****

 

 

 

Poor 2nd Devon. (Or is that 2rd Devon?) Although I guess it IS kind of fitting that the Devon copy gets a cake copy (complete with copied candles!). Hey, how much do you wanna bet his presents were all just pictures of toys? :D

 

Thanks for the monkey business,  Kee & Erin M.

« Cut, Print, That's A Wrap! | Main | FAB WRECKS! »

Reader Comments (45)

To be fair, anyone who names a child "Ayden" deserves anything else that happens to them forever, and ever, and ever. Same goes for "Devon."

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Their cake picture of cake picture isn't even as good as the original picture of cake.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

Gotta love the candle placement on Devon's cake, too. (insert inflamed hemmoroids jokes here)

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline

Are these wreckerators really thick or something? I hope these people get their money back and a free GOOD cake.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

Anyone else think that monkey cake looks a little bit like a CCC ? Maybe it's just me.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Maybe it's 2#d?

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

Sung to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” ("In the Jungle")

In this bakery
This grocery bakery
The moron bakes tonight
In this bakery
This blighted bakery
Your cakes won't turn out right.

You want monkey
They'll give you monkey
It's just they're none too bright
They'll use ink jet
Instead of frosting
They'll glue it down just right

Hush now, Lady
Stop yelling, Lady
Why are you so uptight?
Devon's just two
He'll never notice
At least we spelled it right...

(Not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay, not gonna pay...)

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why is it so friggin difficult to understand a simple instruction? It even came with an illustration! I know you don't have to have a degree to be a baker, but srsly.
And there are so many of these cakes, it's almost not even funny. Almost.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That is just about the laziest baker ever. Take a picture of a cake and put it on the cake. Unbelievable. It's not like it was the hardest design in the world. Good grief! At least they made the cake. The last time I ordered a cake from the grocery store, they didn't bother to made it. They said the baker got too busy to finish it. Uhhhhh, I sort of needed that cake. They didn't even bother to call me to tell me. They just waited until I showed up THE DAY OF MY PARTY. I ended up going to a different store nearby and just buying a wreck off the shelf. Needless to say, I don't order from them anymore.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWisegal

You have GOT to be kidding me! *headdesk*

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

Poor Devon :( I hope his next cake is better. Sharyn bahahahaha

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@Wisegal - so does that mean your baker *started* it and just didn't finish it? I have this image in my head of it sitting in the store kitchen with like "Happy Birrrt" on it and then the T just trails off into a line of icing as the baker walks away. Or maybe I'm just getting that image from one of the cakes on here.

Is there any way we can stop these bakers from voting? No? How 'bout breeding?

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershmana82

I usually giggle at these cakes and feel bad for the person who ordered it, however, today I am furious for those people. I would not pay for this stuff. What the heck goes through some people's minds?!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCDL

Next time let's get a monkey to do it.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

@dolphin: I totally read that as "I hope these people get their MONKEY back". heh.aheh-heh.

This is what happens to the 2th child, ESPECIALLY the 2rd child with the same name - just ask George Foreman's son George. No, the second son named George (or, probably, any of the other 3 sons named George).

With the first child, there are so many pictures you could make a flip book of their life. There are a couple of pictures of the first few days of the 2nrd child's life and then NOTHING.

First Child gets new clothes but 2xth Child gets hand-me-downs. First Child gets new toys, 2ird Child gets to fight the dog for it's chew toy and cut strings from an old mop to make a doll that stinks like dog slobber/mildew and has teeth marks all over its face.

I would have been happy, HAPPY I tell you, to have had PICTURES of toys. HAP. PY. Kids now adays are too soft! Always whining..."I want a cake that's not just a picture of a cake..." "I want ACTUAL toys..." *wanders off muttering to self*

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Yo dawg I heard you like cake...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

Bakeries in grocery stores do not carry character cake pans, that would be a specialty and require extra storage space for pans. Problem is most of them won't tell you this (i just happen to know this from someone who works in one) I was surprised that some of them have the edible image printing machine; most do not. If ONLY they'd tell you in advance!!!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Where do y'all live? I actually LOOK for wrecks, as perusing these pages would make one think (and I have been a devoted fan for some two years now) that unprofessional cakes are taking our nation by storm. But, no, all the pastries in my area look properly iced and level, sweetly daring me to find anything bizarre in their buttercream. And the signs are spelled correctly, too. I guess I'll just keep an eye out...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@ Ela.

They have a sheet pan as is obvious from the cakes they presented. Unless it is a bakery from Hell they should have a cake knife/bread knife. Bake 1 two layer sheet cake. Fill and top. Take the bread knife and cut to the desired shape, you can use the picture for reference. Coat in a crumb coat. Frost and decorate. Even if they don't have the pan in question they should be able to either frost the image on the sheet cake or cut a cake to shape. I know I've done both.

This is a symptom of the same laziness that is the reason that CCC's exist. Why cut a cake to a shape when you can lay out cupcakes to do the job. Most bakeries now have these Photoprinters now as all they are is a standard inkjet with special ink and paper. All you have to do is load the picture on the computer and click print. Boom now you have a complicated Image that would normally take at least an hour to hand frost in seconds. It's the epitome of crank it out and be done with it mentality.

What makes it worse is they know that with something like this a patron usually doesn't have the time to go and find another baker to make their cake the way they ordered it the previous day so they are either stuck with the cake or have to settle for a plain cake.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

This is almost like "Inception"! A cake on a cake on a...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTony

This is why I make my own...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

There weren't any candles on the original picture. I don't see why that means they have to put the candles underneath monkey's butt though...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

This would NEVER fly with me, BUT - that baker should have stated to the customer that she/he cannot make that cake. It's a Wilton Monkey Pan, and they are not licensed for commercial use. So the baker would have to have come up with their own design. But, I venture to say that this would be impossible for this particular baker. Talk about laziness. ugh...

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadyHeather'sCakes

@Sydney - I just had to let you know that your comment actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks. :)

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

For the one above you back it in a pan and cut it to approximately the outline. Throw on some icing and then decorate it. They could have even used the printer to make the image for the decorating and it would have been better. Paper plate one too. Just do a little editing of under five minutes to eliminate the plate outline and print just the monkey on there. Wouldn't have been truly artistic but not the worst birthday cake ever.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoel

Considering what a moron the baker was the first time, why would she go to them again?

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterthe_din

Yes. I suspect that IS a CCC. When it's for 2 year olds it almost makes sense, and that is by FAR the best design I have ever seen for one!

Still, this would make me SO mad, to get a cake like this!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLacey S

Oh! I forgot! @Jen Yates: "No, I don't think you do. You are now in contempt of court. Would you like to go for two counts of contempt?"

You WERE channeling My Cousin Vinny, right?

Also: Couldn't they at least have put the picture on vertically instead of horizontally? That way, the bakers wouldn't have had to write like they are left-handed. (It's okay. I am left-handed. I can say things like that)

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Wow. A picture of a picture of a cake on your cake. Several tiny blood vessels in my brain have just exploded.

Thanks for the paper plate warning! In a couple of weeks, I have to order a cake for my niece's baby shower. I want them to use images off the paper plates I picked out. So I guess I'd better be REALLY clear about that. Fortunately, the cake is being baked at the store that her stepfather and family have run for nearly 100 years. Hopefully, I'll be safe!

@ Sharyn: "The moron bakes tonight" --- too funny!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Now I wish to have a cake with a picture of these cakes with pictures of cakes on them. I will have cakeception.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSage

Sharyn~ Amazing as always!

Andrea~ Have you been talking to my 2rd child?

This post is really sad... in a funny way of course! Poor kids. At least Devon is only 2 and hopefully won't need to much therapy.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

I have to finish the song :
Weee-eeeee-eee-eeeee-eeeeee
I'm not gonna pay

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

Sharyn, as usual, awesome.

As to the Wilton monkey pan - and going to the same baker again... DUH!!! She should have found a friend who does cakes at home and would have had a FABULOUS cake for her 2rd kid.

I, also, search for these wrecks everywhere and never find nary a one.... I must live in the oddest place in the USA. Still, I bake my own disasters - at least I know the cake is the best around!

Keep the commentary coming, Jen.... I need laughs these days!!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

The pictures didn't come up!! This has never happened to me before on my computer... I even tried 2 different browsers, with the same result. Anyone with the same problem?

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdy

Just goes to show . . you can't fix stupid!!

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

Read to the tune of the nursery rhyme "This is the house that Jack built".

This is the red circled monkey plated

This is the shaped monkey straighted
that copied along the red monkey plated

That Wilton monkey cake picture isn't the exact one that was given to the bakery, is it? The eyes, mouth, left hand and green leaves don't appear to be the same as the photo paper copy.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterC.W.

Oh man lol I can't stop laughing at the insanity of the wreckerators. I honestly hope they did not pay for either cake. Why can't they just admit that they can't do that particular design instead of putting the poor customer through this?

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@TLC If I were you, I'd brace myself to see a cake with a picture like this on it.

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

It says 2Nd.

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersiltedrepose

OK, while it's funny for me as an onlooker, if *I* had ordered the cake for my child's birthday, y'all probably would have found me on the evening news in an orange jumpsuit, because I would have been arrested for assult and battery for smashing that cake upside a dumbass baker's head. I seriously would have been LIVID. Later I could have laughed about it, but in the moment, 2 hours before my kids party and I'm running around picking everything up, I would not have been a happy camper. What a lazy freaking moron. How do you even have the balls to show that to someone? Here you go, that'll be $24.95! GRRRRRRR

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

The second pic is a Wilton cake not a CCC, please see the side of the cake if you're not sure. I teach Wilton method and whoever said bakeries can't use their pans is correct. BTW, I LOVE this site! I've even used it to illustrate techniques: "See - Never ever EVER do it this way". We all get a great laugh and they make better cakes. Can't speak to the professionals but your helping to create a better bred of home decorators. Keep posting - I'm addicted :)

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArtmouse

Every time I think I have seen the ultimate in stupidity from bakers on this site ... you one up it, Jen. Headdesk.

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Thanks Artmouse!

@Isolder74 my point is that if they can't get proper spelling (and other reasons why we all come here for a laugh); how could we expect them to actually shape a cake properly? I know it can be done, (i've done them)

August 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Gah...but it's so easy to do right!

I even did it twice for the same occasion!

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/15314_378384103997_8214962_n.jpg
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/15314_378384123997_19367_n.jpg

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

They probably should have learned not to go back to the same bakery after they screwed up the first cake. It's not like you're going to get different people decorating your cake. These bakery employees obviously don't care or don't have the talent to produce better cakes!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMamma Cat

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