Cake Wrecks Gets the Munchies
April 20, 2012 "Dude! Did you know that today is, like, International Pot Day?"
"Whoa, righteous! But...I thought that was every day."
"Well, sure, for hoopy froods like us, but today it's, like, totally legal and stuff!"*
"No way!"
"Way!"
"Dude. Wait'll we tell the boss."
[Later]
"Ok, check it: The mighty Zorro, being stalked by a giant Mars rock, faces off against the evil Christmas present of Doom!"
;)
"Da... na... naaaah!"
"Awwwwesome. And look: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Pooperman!"
;)
"Haha! Naasty!" [high-fiving]
"Uh-oh, dude... I think I got some food coloring up my no...
AAAAAPLOOOIEEE!!"
;)
"Oops. Aw, man... that's not right.
[looking at cake]
We should name it."
"Ooh, I got this! Wait. Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait. We should call it...um...
"What were we talking about?"
"Chad! Todd! How are those animal cakes coming back there? We've got a cupcake cake quota to fill!"
"Uh...We'll get right on it, Mr. Nerfburgler!"
[whispering] "Dude. I just realized: Mr. Nerfburgler's name...IS MR. NERFBURGLER."
"BWAHHAHAHAHAA!"
[Four hours later]
"Ok. Check it out. I made a giraffe:"
;)
"Gnarly."
"And here's my totally righteous seagull!"
;)
"Compadré, you inspire me."
"And, dude, how do you like my two-headed Decepticon?"
;)
[gasping] "With the laser-guided scorpion tail and optional water-mode inflatables?!"
"OF COURSE."
"I am, like, SO not worthy."
"Ah, but that's nothing, my good dude. Are you ready for the best cake OF. ALL. TIME?!
"Preeeeesenting: Donatello, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
;)
"After a Shredder shredding, of course"
"Whoa!"
"Yeah!"
"Whoa!"
"Yeah!"
[pause]
"Dude, I am seriously jonesing for some snackage. What say we make some cupcakes for the display case now?"
"So with you, dude."
;)
Thanks to Jacquie B., Moriah V., Amber, Sarah L., Adrienne K., Tracy M., Casey L., and Caryol B., who all know that it is definitely NOT legal to do drugs today or any day, and that most of what we post here on Cake Wrecks probably was NOT made by stoners. Which, if you think about it, is actually a lot MORE disturbing.
Reader Comments (115)
Most awesome post, Dudette Jen!
May we all be most excellent to each other!
Bonus points for "firing up" HaikuJoy! ;-)
What do I adore most--the original CW posts by the inimitable J&J? Or the hilarious comments by the talented people who love this site as much as I do?
Luckily, I don't have to choose.
Tra-la-la, happy to be here.
As long as I don't have to actually eat any of these cakes.
This whole post is hilarious.
@ Sharyn - OMG! I bow to your awesomeness!!! Off to watch HGTTG again :)
I had a really witty comment in mind that I was going to share, until I got the Mountain Dew and Dorito cupcake. Then all the rational thought in my brain fell out and was replaced with a strange humming noise.
Mountain Dew. Dorito. Cupcakes.
This is something that EXISTS.
I will spend the rest of my day trying to decide whether that is awesome, or disgusting.
Could be both.
Sharyn and Haiku Joy?
You complete me.
Please come over to my house and we will drink a lot of coffee and laugh like crazy and frighten my neighbors.
Dude. I like totally think Haiku Joy is stuck on *shuffle*.
Oh no, dude! Somebody's, like, gotta help!
*doot doot da dooooo* SUPERGROVER?!?!
Dude, I thought you like, got lost in the 80's. Like where ya been, man?
...man? *poke*
I think he's like, cake or something.
Guess it's a good thing I still have that totally gnarly book with those large friendly letters on the front...
Dude, where's my towel?
Excellent Adventure!! I slowly started going from giggles to laughter to OMG, this is for real!!
Most Excellant, Dudes
To see fluent Hitchhiker.
Too bad about the cupcakes.
Jen, John, please reconfigure your site so we can give happy faces or thumbs up or glass bowls with engravings on them to amazing commenters like Sharyn, Haiku Joy, SueBee and others! You should be proud that you have the funniest fans in the 'biz.
Sharyn you get 42 fish today.
Haiku Joy, your poetry is nothing like Vogon poetry.
awkwardfamilyphotos has a comment section where you can comment on a comment which is fun. (Aaaand your blog is way better & inspires better comments - Please don't throw me out the airlock - I forgot my towel!)
I actually bake/sell a Mt. Dew cupcake, but the doritos...yeah...that's a whole new level of ew.
On a related note, this post makes me giggle as I'm sitting at work, thinking of our pot-smoking customers who order the grossest possible combos...or just a cup of sprinkles.
Part of the time I was thinking of Bill and Ted, and the other part of the time I was tinking Jay from "Dogma" Thanks for the laugh.
Dude, I totally thought the giant Mars rock was an evil piece of garlic cheese bread! That may just be the Mountain Dew and Dorito cupcakes talking though.
Should I be worried that I might actually BUY a Mountain Dew/Doritos cupcake?
I think the yellow monstrosity is supposed to be a rubber ducky with an absurdly long neck, and the uppermost right cupcake is supposed to be the sun - unfortunately it makes it look like a two headed monster that drools LOL.
Rock on, Dudes (and Dudettes)...
It's a groverdactyl.
@Haiku Joy:
Fluent Hitchhikers
My mattress, Zem, translated
Off to willomy
Voon
When it came to the last part, I was saying to myself, "I like Doritos, but I don't like Mountain Dew. Who thinks that would tatse good together? Because I don't."
@ Sharon: or perhaps instead of Turducken they made a TurGroven?
I am quite sure the purple seagull is supposed to be a night fury (aka Toothless) from How to Train Your Dragon. I would cry if I ordered a dragon cake for my kid's birthday and that's what they presented at the bakery!
Loving the HHGTTG references. I still intermittently download a C64 emulator and play the text rpg. Yes, I am that much of a geek. AND I probably would try the Dew & Doritos cupcakes. I mean, come on, it's nothing compared to the nastiness people eat on Fear Factor. At least the basic components are all edible. :)
Rock on, dudes and dudettes!
Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought, "Wow! It's Bill and Ted's Bogus Cake Journey!"
Posting in haiku
Really takes talent and thought
Nice work, HaikuJoy!
Anyone up for a slice at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe? I could go for some Big Chocolate Crunch, myself.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who read that in the voice of the...um, let's go with the turtle from Finding Nemo....
Dudes, I totally read that whole post in the voice of Crush the sea turtle. You so totally rock! Gimme some fin... noggin... Duuuuuuude.
GROSSSS!!!! Mountain Dew & Dorito cupcakes... Nasty.
@Haiku Joy: Dude, I, like, totally challenge you to write one of your wonderful haikus gratuitously using the word "Belgium." (I'll nominate you for a Rory.) Totally. (See, I told you I don't speak Stoner...) Oh, and I just realized "telephone sanitizer" has 7 syllables. It's like kismet -- which could be a "Word of the Day."
"Clean up on cake 3" made me snort.
For the third one someone clearly played way too much Portal 2.
Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
These are shockingly bad. I can't believe people get paid to make these. Wow. Just....wow.
Mountain dew and doritos cupcakes!!!!! gack!
For those of you who want to try the Mountain Dew/Dorritos cupcakes, you have to live in Central Florida. The 4R at the bottom of the sign lets you know that they're made by 4 Rivers Smokehouse, a FANTASTIC BBQ joint here in CF. I don't know how the Dew cupcakes taste as I've never had them before, but the rest of their cupcakes are very good.
[David Attenborough]
Here we see a collection of Vermicious Knids on the hunt in their natural environment. As you can see they have the ability to mimic the look of other animals allowing them to get closer in order to consume them. Of course their forms aren't always very good when done by the younger members of the swarm. In fact, sometimes it takes quite a bit of imagination to try an guess what animal they are trying to mimic.
[/David Attenborough]
Yo, Dudes, these are TOTALLY gag-worthy.
Did anyone else notice that the sneeze cake is a new incarnation of the dreaded CCC (patooie)? It melded together a sheet cake with cupcakes, making it a CCCC.
awesome post, Jen. way to celebrate! Also lets remember the greatest stoner ever, Mitch Hedburg (R.I.P)
My cuz and I were quoting him all through dinner XD
Mountain Dew and Dorito cupcakes make me sad. So so sad!
I heard the commentary done by Doug & Bob McKenzie. Those two fictional characters who parody guys who come from a certain country and in so doing, endear that country to us Americans all the more. Not that we expect people from that country to actually be like that, or anything... (Whew -- that was close.)
#1 The road bears an amazing resemblance to grilled fish. Just a resemblance, right? Oy.
#6 The random blue drip really sells it. That and the fact that it is apparently upside down.
#7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Roadkill was not nearly as successful as the original show, for some reason.
#8 These cupcakes probably taste way excellent, but I hope I never get hungry enough to want to find out.
I live in Berkeley, I work in a Bakery. End of story.
@Sharyn,
"Kismet" has already been a Word of the Day, so you're on top of things. But I don't use swear words more serious than "fern" and "octothorp-ampersand-asterix-interrobang." Shame on you for suggesting I say . . . the "B" word. I type my mother with these fingertips.
I thought I had seen it all until I saw that Mountain Dew/Dorito cupcake. Wow what a combo. I don't even think stoned people would eat that but I could be wrong lol. Forgot what this day was until hubby showed me a comic that said tomorrow is national surprise drug testing day lol.
Sharyn, you do know your D. Adams. So much fun to read your post.
Haiku Joy, I am so glad this post inspired so much haiku joy.
But really, folks, is the world ready for Mountain Dew and Doritos cupcakes? A food only a twelve-year-old could handle, I think. And what occasion calls for a lizard roadkill CCC?
I think it's a sign that I've had too much cold medicine and chicken broth 'cause the Mountain Dew Doritos cupcakes actually sound good…
please help me
P.S. @Sharon and @Andrea groverdactyl? turgroven? hahaheeeheehooheeheeha~snort~hee
I would TOTALLY purchase and eat that Mountain Dew/Dorito cupcake. It would probably not be a good idea to be near me at the time as I’m not supposed to have caffeine (yes, every single post here has been without the influence of caffeine- or anything else referenced here- scary, huh?) Mountain Dew was my very favorite intense caffeine infusion and the decaffeinated version just isn’t quite the same.
@Haiku Joy- as usual, you rock! I giggle/snorted over that Nessie one. :D (of course the others were awesome, too)
@Sharyn- awwwww, we really are long lost sisters. I get weird looks when I quote that paragraph in public, though.
@scifimom- I was hearing both Bill and Ted but somehow they morphed into Beavis and Butthead at one point.
@ mel- you win. :)
WAITWAITWAIT!!! Shannon’s right and that IS a 4R on the MD/D cupcake tag!! OMG I could go buy that right this VERY MINUTE- (grabs keys) BYE
Dude. I totally read that whole thing as a conversation between Bill and Ted... from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
And it was awesome.
Keep up the awesome!
Like totally Gag me with a spoon! You rock!
DUDE... I, like, want to marry the seagull cake.
(And that's not me joining in the with the stoner talk. That's how I talk all the time.)
grumbling: I drove all the way over there to 4R in the rain and they aren't carrying that flavor right now. I tried to call but never got through. They have Nehi grape with bright purple frosting which didn't appeal to me though the chocolate potato chip one did. I used to work in a chocolate store and chocolate dipped potato chips are fabulous (use ridged kind, though, as the thinner ones don't stand up to the chocolate). I drove away empty handed as I'd promised myself I'd only buy if they had Mountain Dew and Doritos since I'm already expecting cupcakes at work this week. UGH
This is so hilarious! Great post, great writing. I love how you can take so many cakes totally not related and make them relate with the commentary. Thanks for the laugh!!
Jen: whoa, totally awesome commentary. Again.
Sharyn: no stoner speak needed; you got the Douglas Adams vibe just right.
Isolder74: Roald Dahl FTW. Definitely a Vermicious Knid. Better scram!
As for the cakes, what does it say about the bakers when the glowing green and orange cupcakes are the most appealing looking of the bunch? Not sure about the taste....but maybe that's just because I didn't participate in 420 day.
Oh my!! Where the heck to people find these disasters!
Duuuuuuuuuuuude! Clearly a deleted scene from Bill & Ted, right? Because of stoners, these wrecks shall not go to waste, totally jonesing dude.............
Am I the only frood here who saw Zorro and first thought of Wesley/The Man In Black/Dread Pirate Roberts? Until I noticed the cape.