This Little Piggy Will Eat Your Soul
January 5, 2012 I thought most of the world had already seen the demon marzipan piggy that went viral Christmas week, but then again - judging by John's horrified screams of laughter when he spotted it on my screen last night - maybe not.
So, without further ado, lock up the children, grab your security blanket, and prepare to meet your newest nightmare:
;)
Not kosher, man. NOT KOSHER.
Jonas L. made this for two little girls, if you can believe it, and there are multiple disturbing photos of said children gleefully dissecting zombie Wilbur over on his website. I think it goes without saying that hogging this cake may be a real boar, but it will definitely make you squeal.
And while it ill behooves me to butt in with gratuitous pork butt pictures, this one is sooieeet!
;)
And by "sooieeet" I mean I just became a vegetarian.
Thanks, internet.
BONUS PIGGY PUN:
Q: Why do pigs hate magic?
A: Because Hogwarts make them itchy!
BWAHAHAHAAA!!
Sorry.
Reader Comments (210)
Wrong. On so many bacon-infused levels.
Thank you. Now I´m scarred for life. o.O
That has got to be THE funniest set of picture in the world!!!!! I mean the ones on the website showing the girls doing their dissection! LOVE IT! Yes, it's creepy but maybe they are vegetarians and its the closest thing they got to HAM at Christmas ;)
That is super crazy. I hadn't seen it. But I'm glad you linked to the person's site cause seeing pics of the girls disemboweling it is even crazier!!! Wow. What a way to start my new year.
It looks a ***LOT*** like a pig during the butchering process (farm girl here), which is fine when you are going for bacon as the end result. Not so fine when you are dishing it up with ice cream. And I've NEVER seen a pig with teeth like that. A boar yes. A pig, no. This is truly awful. In a fantastic way, HAHA
WHAT THE ??!!!? That is the scariest thing I've ever seen!! Steph S. HAHAHAhehehe that was cute :D
Winter (check)
dead pig (check)
could this, in fact, be the destruction of the Hogfather by the auditors on Hogswatch Night?
Horrifically adorable! Love it!
A) Since when do domestic pigs have pointy teeth?
B) That is the most horrifying, grotesque, creepy.................................EVAR!
That wins my vote as your post disturbing post.
Those nipples look like they hurt.
Wow... just... wow.
Oh wow, if you think these pics are bad, check out the reference site! Why are those cute little girls going all "Children of the Corn" on that poor pig's rump roast? Witch Hazel can't fix that!!
I will be haunted for the rest of my life now.
I'm horrified...possibly scarred for life. This is in my top 10 worsts from CW's!! (PS- This is definitely a talented person to be able to make this look so "real")
why oh WHY did I go that step further and go to the website? I am officially scarred for life. lol
I would totally buy something like this for a Halloween party, it's fascinatingly grotesque.
Why are the cute little children doing that to the pig? WHY????
W.T.F. no words
AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!! I had to dissect a piglet in college, a nice fresh one, and that was WAY less disturbing than this cake. I am completely dumbfounded. But I'm glad the family enjoyed it. To each his own, I suppose.
Was eating ham and eggs when I opened up this little nightmare. I think I'll just work on the eggs now. Yargh.
.......................
...Why.....?
WHY?!?
I scrolled down at first without looking at the title, and i literally SCREAMED!!!
Ohhhh.......Why.....
I was one of the blessedly uninitiated as well, right up until seeing this post. OK, the first picture was disturbing, but the "rear shot" demonstrating the sculptor's talent for verisimilitude was more than I wanted/needed to see. I think I'll studiously avoid clicking on the link now.
Ugh :P the tail looks like a mutant dismembered finger, blechhhhhh
I for one was very pleased to see the pictures of the girls gleefully dissecting the evil pig. I would love to know that family.
Why isn't the tail curly?
And why of all the creepy aspects of this does the tail bother me the most?
Oh, my GOD, the pics on his site are amazing!! I thought my favorite was the one of the girl kneeling on the table hefting the back half of the pig, then I got to the LAST PICTURE!! BWAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAA!! Classic!
Oh, come on. It's not that bad, people.
Why is cutting into a dead marzipan pig any worse than, say, biting the head off an Easter bunny (which is made to look alive, and cute)? I mean, other than the fact that it's marzipan, and that's far worse than chocolate.
Honestly, there are days that if I did not see your featured wreck _with my own eyes_ I would not believe it existed. Today is one of those days. And now of course my eyes are permanently damaged.
I actually screamed when I saw the second photo... wow... this is WAAAY more disturbing than the New Year cake with the... um... you know.... eeek.
OMG that is one ugly cake.
It's too bad that someone expended his/her obvious talents on something so horrific. I can only imagine the cringing when this little baby was cut open. Were there little gum paste organs inside too?
MY EYES! MY EYES! ACK!
That is too disturbing for words. I think that is even worse then the dead baby cake. I'm a nurse and have seen some pretty gross things over the years but this tops anything I've ever seen.
Deeply disturbing...DEEPLY
WTH!?!!??!?!? That is just disturbing!
Vixx, pigs are omnivores. They will eat almost everything (or at least try it once). When I working in Iowa a local farmer made the mistake of stepping on a piglet that he thought he'd already gotten out of the old bedding and straw in the sow's pen. There was not much left of the farmer when help arrived. As you can imagine, the other pig farmers were really, really careful about checking for piglets after that.
Magnificent craftsmanship and attention to detail, but I don't think I'll be ordering one for any family gatherings.
Jodie, in marzipan. That would send the Lutz family into therapy (again).
I couldn't even read the post because of those terrifying pictures! I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...
I love the pictures on the creator's website.
My only thought - did they request this cake after reading 'Lord of the Flies'?
I think "piggy anus" says it all.
Well, there went my sleep for a week.
mmm tasty
A talented sculptural man
Made a hideous pig in a pan.
Though some folks are quakin'
and swearing off bacon,
I blame it all on marzipan.
They butchered the pig Wednesday night,
Giving some an additional fright.
Well, girls will be girls
With their scalpels and curls.
Relax, guys; the kids are all right.
When I'm in an asylum with "The lord of the flies is coming for ALL of us!!!!" penned in permanent marker all over me, people will only need to look here and they will know. Also, if those girls own a pig, it might need to watch out. The last picture of them cutting it looked painful. VERY painful.
This is disturbing enough...then I made the mistake of clicking the link to see more pictures. The most stomach churning, disturbing part of it all?? The young girl stabbing a knife into the pig's corn hole. I am still trying to understand why this is something one would want to document on camera, let alone post on the web!?!?!
Forget having a brick house that couldn't be blown down. The REAL reason The Big Bad Wolf couldn't eat the the third little pig was because the third pig looked like THIS!
I saw it last week, but I didn't see that bonus shot you shared!
Who wants a hot dog?!
After seeing the 5 & 7 yr old girls, do what they did to this cake, I can only wonder what kind of torture & suffering they put live animals through.
that is FANTASTIC!!
So full of epic win it's unbelievable....nothing wrong with it at all