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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep052011

And Now, A Handy Cake for Labor Day

 Opa.

 

High five, Michelle D. 

« A Warm Welcome | Main | Sunday Sweets: Getting Crafty »

Reader Comments (47)

OK, I love football. I grew up with the Redskins (back in the day, before Dan Snyder bought the team and ruined it). But this is ... just ... icky. Also vaguely obscene. And maybe a little creepy, too.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

This reminds me of the 'hand' turkeys we drew each year in elementary school.

0.0

Either that or it's a mutant tree drunk on Miracle Gro, take your pick. :P

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Grossly red.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea Lively

I'm so confused - the hand is a right hand, but it's on the torso's left side......so is it supposed to be someone else rubbing the pregnant belly? The Disembodied Hand that Strangled People, ready to rip the football out from under that shirt??

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Proof once again that some wrecks are the result of the tasteless requests of customers.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

ewww, that skin is so... red.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

A football? Really?
mocking

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermocking

It's too early for this....

What? It's almost 11:00 you say?
oh...

It's too close to lunch for this.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I don't know . . . The headless, limb-less pregnant torso cakes are always disturbing (would adding a head and limbs make them any less disturbing? I don't think so . . .), but for some reason the thing that bothers me the most about this cake is the fact that the hand is so . . . flat. I mean, if you're trying to do a 3-D kind of cake, shouldn't everything about it be 3-D? Is it really even a hand? I could totally see Pam's "mutant tree drunk on Miracle Gro;" my first thought was actually "a dead, squashed squid wearing tap shoes" (but I just woke up, so . . .)

At any rate, if you can manage to drag your eyes from the supposed hand, what is that thing down by the edge of the cake's "skirt?" A mini-Olympic torch? Some artsy folded napkins? A campfire? Gah, I'm so confused!

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

And those look like flames coming out of the crotch. They maybe are supposed to be Redskin feathers, but they look like crotch flames.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKeri

Under increasing pressure from activist groups, the Redskins decided to retool their logo to be more tasteful and less offensive (without changing their name, of course-- that would be silly). After months of work with input from dozens of self-proclaimed sensitivity experts, the team was ready to unveil their new mascot: Reddy, the Strong-Independent-Native-Woman-Who-Is-Modern-and-Capable-and-Very-Pregnant.

They reverted to Chief Zee and the Hog almost immediately.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Wha....? I have no words....

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

Annnnnd....guess what pregnant l'il ol' me will be having nightmares about tonight!

(Ah, well...it's only, you know, twice as bad as the zombie vampire dream from the other night...)

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Not only is the cake weird and IMHO a bit distasteful... The hand has the thumb facing the wrong way. It's pointed down, and unless the person is supposedly getting touched, it's wrong anatomy wise.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Setting myself up for instant ridicule, I'll just say in my defense that I'm not a sports fan at all. I thought that "Redskins" must be a basketball team because, er, that thing doesn't look like a football. So now add me to the "I'm really confused" list because I don't see why a glove on a pregnant belly would evoke a football team. Oh, a HAND?? Nuh uh.
There is nothing remotely food-like about this object.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Is that hand reaching up out of her undies?

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

Could this be a wrecked wreck? It makes less sense than a Salvador Dali painting.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

I...can't...even...comprehend the thought that went into this D: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

how dare they sully the Skins with this nightmare!

HTTR

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

"Opa"?

I'm siding with the wreckerator on this one; given the theme and the elements that for whatever reason had to be included, there was really no way to class this up. The only thing one can really do is say, "Heck with it -- this is going to wind up on Cake Wrecks anyway, so I might as well play to that."

Apart from the oh-so-subtle football reference, I count at least two movie references: E.T. (hand) and Carrie (runny red frosting drenching a torso and flames).

Only 10 comments so far -- maybe there's a major Internet outage. Or 10 comments were all that could be posted -- yikes!

One more thing: "Opa"?

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I was half expecting you to make the same old, "Have a labor-less labor day, unless you actually are *in* labor...."

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

what this is... I don't even ::shudders:: Probably will feature in some nightmare at some point ::shudders::

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I think it's rather attractive, myself.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterguest

I knew it, Labor Day is when all the pregnant women go into labor. I've been telling all my friends that for years and no one believes me.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBev

oh, thank you, Keri! ugh I was going to be sooo funny but the torso cake has fire crotch so my cleverness is invalid. ;)

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Okay, I have to admit I just hurt my arm trying to get my right hand, thumb side down, palm facing in, on the left side of my stomach. After noticing that there is no other part of an arm beyond the wrist, I realized that short of chopping my hand off (as was done here) I'd never get in that position.
Also, I'm a Packers fan. We may wear huge wedges of cheese on our heads, but we'd NEVER cut a pregnant woman's hand off, force her to wear a minijerseydress, and then mockingly toss her hand back on her belly. That's just cruel.
BTW I'm off to patent the MiniJerseyDress. Maternity sizes available at no extra cost.

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGennyDiggory

Flat Stanley attends his first (and probably last) baby shower...

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Oh, my brain:
1st thought: Stitches out.
2nd thought: Hail Ceasar pass play

crawling back to bed now.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Well at least the cake looks edible..maybe? Lol I still fear these baby shower cakes but this one isn't quite as scary as some of the other ones on here.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Why is the hand so big in relation to the rest of the cake?! A giant hand on a weird red headless pregnant torso??? It's scary!!!

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I think I know what happened here. Customer ordered something like "Pregnant torso with Redskins." Unfortunately, the Wreckorator was unsure whether the customer wanted the torso to have literal red skin or a reference to the team. So, our Wreckorator (truly the victim here) took the safe route and did both!

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

This is actually better than what I thought it would be from the thumbnail. It looked like a jello-cake with a fake hand inside.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaevrim

Okay the cake was not as bad as what I thought I saw when I looked at the small picture in the preview. I thought it was a red gelatin belly with the hand pressed against it - and I was frightened. Don't get me wrong, "Disembodied zombie hand rubbing pregnant belly while engulfed in crotch flames" is quite frightening as well.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Um, cheerleader knocked up?

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercarly

Must be a Midwest thing, because Genny and I seem to be the only people who noticed the outfit is leaving half the ta-tas exposed. What pregnant person wears a halter style top with no straps??? Wouldn't the material slip down (especially since it's so obviously tight on that belly) between the boobies and baby belly?

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin A.

Watching a barely-clothed pregnant lady get groped by some massive armless hand...nope, can't handle this. The only taste some people have is in their mouths. But it's definitely a "Cake Wreck" contender.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelly H

I actually gave birth to my youngest son 16 years ago on Labor Day (I know, how cliche). If this cake was what greeted me afterwards I would have been P-O'd. If you seriously can't forget football the day you celebrate the near arrival of your child, at least take the time to find a Sane Cake Decorator.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy S.

I think the problem is that the baker has never seen a human hand before and had to base it on a description. Only reasonable explanation.

Also.... Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKarla T

Scare me. Spooke me. BOO!!

How heinous on so many levels...

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarla D.

The worst thing about this cake may be the color. Or, maybe not.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPostmenopaws

Usually, I at least "get" the wrecks...I cannot even begin to understand this one. I just keep wondering what in the HE** the customer was thinking! Even done properly it would have been....awful.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

Is anyone else thinking of Tom Petty's video for "Don't come around here no more."? As a labor day birthday person, I can attest to NOT wanting this cake for my birthday. ugh.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Aaaahhhhh!

This is so insanely disturbing that I may never be able to look at a hand again. Or a cake. Or a pregnant woman.

Actually it reminds me of those rubber body parts packaged in meat containers that are all over the place at Halloween: http://www.horror-shop.com/en/halloween-decorations/halloween-horror-miscellaneous/hannibals-meat-market-hand.html

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDannie

Ewwww... .bloody show

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori S

As a Redskins fan, let me just say.. "eeewwww" Smh.. My poor Redskins..

September 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMariana

Coincidentally, I actually had my son on Labor Day--this Labor Day. Fortunately, no one brought me a limbless pregnancy cake. I got to enjoy a nice quiet meal of liquids (because I had a c-section).

September 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUrbeth

what scares me is that it's all red. The hand, everything. and where the words are written. it'll show up in my dreams.Excuse me, my nightmares.

December 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralicia

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