Haven't You Always Wanted a Monkey?
December 7, 2011 One of my favorite new internet celebrities has to be Copernicus the homicidal monkey. C'mon. He's a monkey, and he wants to kill you. What's not to love?
Happily, it appears I'm not the only one who thinks a homicidal monkey is perfect birthday cake material:
;)
"Remember, kids: A hug is just a strangle you haven't finished yet!"
If you're not familiar with Copernicus, I recommend hopping over to this post by the Bloggess for a (hilarious) explanation. However, believe me when I say that "creepy homicidal monkey" really does sum it up nicely.
;)
"Did you know that monkeys are really cute? And are in no way able to kill you with a banana? It's true. And if you believe that, here, try this banana."
;)
"No no, really, you go on to sleep. I'll just sit here, quietly, and watch.
While sharpening my extensive collection of Ginsu knives."
;)
"What's that? You find my stare unnerving? Then maybe you should just close your eyes. Theeere you go. Aaaaalll better."
;)
"Hey, I actually enjoy a good party. Confined spaces, unsuspecting revelers with alcohol-dulled reflexes, and funny hats? Why, that's a Saturday night, right there.
"Of course, during the week I mostly look forward to killing time.
"We can quibble over definitions later."
And finally, I'd like to take a moment to remind you all of the importance of eye contact.
;)
Especially when plotting double homicides and eating bananas.
Thanks to Jocelyn T., Kelly E., Deirdre M., Jessica, April G., & Tiffany for putting the "stab" back in this establishment.
Reader Comments (77)
Is it just me or does the banana in the second one look like something else???? The first thing I thought it was was not a banana.
"is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Do my eyes deceive me, or is that first poo monkey a CCC also?!!? Oh, the horror! (Not to mention those questionable "coconuts")
Tyranasarus:
twig-armed prince of blood. So too,
Coconut Care Bear.
My two year old said "that's not disgusting, that's chocolate."
What's with the frog monkeys? #3 and #4 look like unfortunately repurposed molds.
Monkey #1 looks like he'll be found not guilty by reason of insanity. He is definitely not responsible for his actions.
Monkey #2 resembles Homer Simpson, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Nothing is scarier than a monkeyfrog. They can swing from lilly pads and hop through the trees and their horrifying croaking scream has been known to scare people to death. TO DEATH! Three and 4 look like monkeyfrogs.
I'm not going near monkey number 4, because what I'm thinking is likely to trigger an EPCOT.
Now number five is just adorable (after the first four) and made me smile with relief (after the first four) because I don't think he's really all that dangerous (compared to the first four.)
My two favorite blogs converge!
*blink* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first monkey, I just didn't get a homicidal vibe from. Dimwitted, maybe, in a SPECIAL way (I think it was the goofy grin), but not homicidal. He might hug you and squeeze you and call you George, but he wouldn't kill you. Well, not intentionally...
The others, I'll give you.
Barenaked Ladies for the win!
Wow, what is up with the monkey frogs?
That, cats and kittens, is why I only used monkeys in the paper artwork for my daughter's birthday party, and kept the cupcakes simple.
I had this vision of a poo monkey, and it was evil.
Great BNL title for your post today! Never heard of this monkey. Maybe I should check it out.
The last little guy is not TOO bad, he just seems to be staring over my right shoulder at the swift approach of impending doom, like my cat about to jump off the closet shelf onto my unarmored shoulder.
Made ya look!
The last little guy is not TOO bad, he just seems to be staring over my right shoulder at the swift approach of impending doom, like my cat about to jump off the closet shelf onto my unarmored shoulder.
Made ya look!
I USED to like monkeys-thanks for changing that :(
Inspired by cake #1:
Poo drops keep falling from the skies.
Look at my fudgy, swirly face and bulbous eyes;
Now you’re hypnotized.
@ Trevor...definately check out The Bloggess! You'll be glad you did. I'm also very happy that 2 of my favorite blogs have collided!
I had to check out Copernicus and OMG "he smells like what I would imagine syphilis smells like."
And yeah, Sara a., I looked back at #2's "banana' and that is no banana.
That first one makes me crack up at the total misuse of the plastic flotsam arms and legs. How sad that I had to use the other wrecks as a reference to figure out how they were designed to be used.
Isn't the flotsam supposed to make up for wreckerators' lack of talent?
Copernicus' FB page is awesome - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Copernicus-The-Homicidal-Monkey/262800540411002
"You look delicious..." ROTFLOL!
Way too funny - thanks for the laugh!
just read the copernicus link. friggin amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a creepy face-eating strangle-hugging whackjob of a monkey!
THANK YOU (mostly for the link but also for the post )
Btw is it just me, or does monkey #2 look like a brown (cracked out) version of the Abominable Snowman from the Rudolf movies?
Classic Barenaked Ladies. good times. Got any fur coat cakes?
NO... Please, no. Nevermind. Forget I even asked. I don't think I can handle it.
The third and fourth ones from the top look like brown frogs wearing poorly made monkey costumes.
Holy crap, I love it when blogs collide! My favorite of Copernicus' sayings: "A HUG IS LIKE A STRANGLE YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED YET."
A few months ago, I had a nightmare about Copernicous the Homocidal Monkey and his attempts to kill me. Now I know the Jens of the internet are out to get me.
I'm a little embarassed by how much I love this dialogue (as reported by The Blogess):
me: He can ride home on your shoulder! You’ve always wanted a monkey!
Victor: What? I’ve never wanted a monkey.
me: EVERYONE WANTS A MONKEY.
Victor: Not me.
me: Well…that’s what’s wrong with you.
Did you notice that the first cake box has a place for a knife, and someone has TAKEN THE KNIFE OUT?
Ruh-roh.
Limerick time:
Scary Copernicus Monk
Likes seeing people’s lives sunk.
His brain’s full of tangles:
His hugs turn to strangles.
He’s even worse than you thunk.
I LOVE Copernicus. I love the Bloggess!
Is it just me or does #5 look like he's hurking up a rainbow...with sprinkles?
#3 and #4: You can wear your little brown monkey ears, your brown prosthetic stick limbs and your huge googly eyes, but you are not fooling me. You are NOT monkeys! You are the Killer Mocha-Poo-Blob-Hypnotists in Monkey's Clothing that my mother warned me about!
Your stare doesn't unnerve me, but the way your blue-black runny snout is mashed up against the side of the... is that a jar you live in? Or, lived in? Will you soon be chloroformed and vivisected by a sixth grade biology class (god willing)?
Or are you merely pickled and displayed above a bar, awaiting the day when some ignorant sap, in a moment of drunken bravado, gestures to you and slurs, "Yesh, I'll take that dare! Gimme the pickled monkeyfrog!" And as you slide sickly out onto the chipped white ceramic plate, your inebriated consumer will almost swear that you are winking at him. He will dismiss it as a hallucination, but the truth is, you know something that he does not: no matter how much tequila you soak them in or how long they are allowed to ferment, monkeyfrogs are completely inedible.
Okay, these are mildly terrifying... o_O *meep*
I believe those cakes give the word "apes**t" new meaning.
Monkeys are really difficult to render in icing. These could be anything.
The fifth looks like a 1920s caricature of a Black guy.
1. I so love you.
2. Copernicus has the biggest smile on his face. Either that or he's baring his teeth at me. Either way, I think I need a panic room.
Yeah. "Monkey" #2 looks like a sasquatch crossed with Homer Simpson, and I don't know if it's frogs wearing bad monkey suits or some sort of genetically manipulated monkey/frog, but something is definitely WRONG...
Holy sweet Jesus. Monkey #3 is terrifying.
That last cake looks awwwwwwwwfully familiar. Deja vu kind of familiar. Did I have a premonition about a monkey cake?
That's so awesome! I just discovered The Bloggess and have been laughing myself silly over her posts.
...but remember, Copernicus was missing half of his face! I luff you and the Bloggess!
Obviously there is something seriously wrong with me. I loved the Copernicus link.
The cake with the 3 on it...is that REALLY SUPPOSED to be a banana? *blink* *blink*
That other one looks like poo...well, really several of them doo.
Is it just me or do monkeys 1, 3 & 4 all have the same parts? I wonder what the original design using those plastic pieces looks like. . .
Bloggess + Bare Naked Ladies for the win!
BTW, I'm never going to sleep again.
@Sara A, I am SO glad I'm not the only one who saw something other than a banana....
Cake #4 I really want to send to my little bother who lives in Hawaii... >:)
Viva Copernicus!