How To Be Popular On The Internet
November 14, 2011 Today we're going to talk about what makes a successful blog post. Remember, it is very important to follow these instructions carefully, or else trolls may never find you and tell you how stupid you are.
Step 1:
Start with boobs.
;)
Because an internet without boobs is like fingers without bones: Horrifying.
Step 2:
Add adorable animals, like:
Kittens...
;)
Bunnies...
;)
And, of course, monkeys...
;)
...with boobs.
Now that you've captured the attention of your audience, it's time to talk about something important and life changing.
You know, like Kim Kardashian's divorce:
;)
And don't forget to sprinkle in a generous helping of "hip slang" for your peeps, yo!
;)
"J... J... Jammin' on the one."
Finally, once you've wowed your audience with your insightful wisdom, it's time to leave them wanting more. If you have more boobs, now would be a good time to use them.
;)
Unless they look like that.
If not, you can always say something about Justin Beiber:
;)
Because love him or hate him, he is the internet.
That and boobs.
Thanks to Kristen M., Christina E., Kara A., Bethany M., Sarah H., Jill H., Zoe B., and Anony M., who would NEVER marry for a TV show or for money. Uh...right, guys?
Reader Comments (67)
WHAT is that hanging out of that first ones belly button....SPERM?!? YIKES!
Is that a belly ring on the first cake? No!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think I'll ever be the same.
That baby is going to haunt my dreams. And the Justin Bieber cake actually kinda does look like him lol. But the internet would be amiss if it didn't have poor lovelorn celebs on it making my newsfeed explode. Why not on cake too so they don't miss out on the scariness of it all.
Hey Fudge cat maker, gatta question:
aren't those usually found hanging low on the back hitch on trucks?
Honest-to-Cakewrecks,
last night I dreamed of the fat
boobie babe of cake.
Has anyone noticed that the Monkey is a girl monkey(not only because of the boobs, but also the flowers on the head. And the baby must be wearing a shirt. Yeah...a flesh colored shirt. Has to be a shirt.
J-J-J- Jammin' on the one. RRRRRRRooooobert. Baby. Baby. B-b-b-b baby.
Best show ever.
has that baby got grandma boobs
ouch @ the heart cake
'i'm breaking up with you, but i brought cake!'
You posted my picture!! I'm so honored! And so thrilled that it ended up on in a post about boobs since well, you would have to be a boob to buy this one. :) I only wish I had made it myself. And to add insult to injury...this heart cake was one of MANY displayed on Valentines Day. Ouch.
Is there a baby's body growing out of that baby's neck?
My kids were not sure what the "cat" cake was, but knew immediately that was JB.
1. The "GO DWAGS" cake might be a misspelling of "GO DAWGS. "Dawgs" is the nickname for the Huskies, of the University of Washington.
2. That bunny cake... I WILL have nightmares tonight. I WILL.
I can't believe you made that Cosby reference! I thought I was the only one who still held that moment in their heart as one of the funniest things ever uttered on TV.
That third cake looks like a really pink pen15!!!
J- J- Jammin' on the one.
Gotta love Theo Huxtable. Awesome reference xD
That baby cake looks like it has a half-formed twin bursting out of its chest.