Wrecks Without Question

I know bakers get odd requests from time to time. Inside jokes, nicknames, stuff that makes no sense - they see it all. Still, you'd think there comes a point when a baker looks at a scrawled order form and asks herself, "Gee, is it more likely they wanted 'happy BIRTHDAY,' or 'happy BAIRTH?'"

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Jim," you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well, "Jim, don't be so gosh durn silly." (You're also from the South.) "'Bairth' isn't even a word! So obviously NO baker would EVER...uh..."

[raised eyebrows] You were saying?

Or how about this: you get a cake order for a little girl. She wants a bunch of little chocolate mice on the border, all surrounding one big...huh...is that 'mouse' written there? It kind of looks like 'mouse.' Definitely M-O-U-something. So, do you assume mouse? Or do you go with this?

Niiiice.

Now you're thinking that this would never happen to you. "I'd write the order clearly!" you yell to the heavens. (Two words, dude: less coffee.) "Then I'd tape Post-it Notes to the order form showing them exactly where I want the text, so there's no WAY they can wreck it up!! Haha!"

Not bad, not bad. Sounds like a good plan.

Except...

What if they take your handy-dandy Post-its, copy them, and then paste them on the cake?

Aha! I see from your stunned expression that thought hadn't struck you yet.

Brace for impact.

That's Wreckerator: 3, Customer: 0.

Well played, Wreckerators. Well played.

Anna H., Helen, & Janice H., you might try asking for a Wreck. I've seen several of those wrecked into being a pretty decent-looking (and correctly spelled!) cake. It's like a wreck to the second power! Totally meta.

Comments

[Craig]

The first two are clearly phone orders.

#1 has a decidedly Celtic feel -- I'd say Ireland or Scotland. My ancestry is Scottish, so I don't have a problem with a 'bairthday' cake. Someone wishing me a 'happy bairth', on the other hand, is a wee bit out o' kilter, ye ken.

#2 would be great for celebrating the grand opening of "Helen's Dentistry and Extermination Service". It would also make a superb poster, with the caption: "Always verify the customer's request." In either case, the transparent lower teeth (amazing effect, but SO out of place) are a great attention-getter. To distract attention from the 'mice' -- or whatever those things are with the unusually long tails. Ahem.

Matty's (really?) 'position' is a tad concerning, especially given the balloons. Is there a Wreckerator manual somewhere, specifying that balloon strings must look like tails?

The last two wrecks require a 21 *headdesk* salute.

wv: dograpp. [whistling...]

[Katy]

No, Helen is just a fan of the movie Never Cry Wolf!!

[JamesterCK]

I agree with some of the others; when I saw "Bairth" I immediately thought it must be someone with an accent, like Scottish. But why, oh why, do these cake decorators not clarify?

[Arlene]

Oh man where do I even begin? I say these wreckerators were all having a bit to drink before they read the order forms. Then they merrily wrecked each and every cake while whistling a happy tune. Because I can't think of one reason a giant mouth with mice surrounding it would make sense. To anyone lol.

[Tricia L]

That mouth cake is imbedded in my brain. I think that's the cover of your next book, Jen.

[Aliza]

Jessica's question makes me wonder... could Helen's mouth cake be inspired by the DQ ads?????

[zombiekim]

''Jim,' you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well..." Haha, I love it! I can't help but feel kinda bad for the folks who ordered the mouth cake and the Post-it, though. Looks expensive! Ah well, screwed up cakes make for better memories.

[Anonymous]

Helen is obviously a woman who enjoys her man.

[wrecksfan]

@4:23--I totally agree.

These kind of wrecks are my least favorite (sorry Jen--I still heart you big time) because I'm always sitting there thinking, well, duh, the people doing the decorating are working for minimum wage, if that, and it is quite likely that they spell Happy Birthday F-E-L-I-Z C-U-M-P-L-E-A-N-O-S, or the Ethiopian, Indian, Laotian pick-your-local-immigrant-population-here equivalent.

If I were given a scribbled post-it in Laotian I doubt I'd do much better. Probably, I'd do much worse. I'd be the Falker Satherhood star of Asia. Hmmm...*ponders future career move*

[ahmo]

I just got here from a link to a cupcake article. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at that post-it cake! What a refreshing and great site. I might get inspired to do some baking. hahahaha

[Laura Cathrine]

The worst part of it all... that mouth is actually really well done. The handwriting is good and the airbrushing looks great. Too bad the cake wasn't for an orthodontist. :o)

[Spoony]

The Post-it cake is okay, but guys, come one, the MOUTH CAKE!

Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I peruse this site occasionally and get a nice giggle, but that one? Laugh out loud funny!

[Haiku Joy]

Office supply cakes
should have scissors baked inside.
Finder - next year's host!