The Bakers Wrecked 'Em
May 11, 2010 Note to the squeamish: some of today's cakes are medically gross. I've seen much worse, but still...put the coffee down.
As the child of a former RN, I couldn't let National Nurses Week go by without showing the nurses of the world some love.
And by "love," I mean this:
Uh...I don't really know what's going on here ("I'm an escalator, not a doctor!"), but it looks serious.
Oooh, gutsy.(At first I typed "gusty." Bwahahahah!)
A giant...water bottle? And a decapitated bear. And bar codes. And...uh...what the heck, Canada?
As a Trekker, I really must object to this. Once I finish sniggering.
It's a thermometer, not a straw.Oh, and sorry for putting "straw" in your head if it wasn't there already.
Yeah, hindsight being 20/20, that was a bum crack to make. A real wipe-out. A party-pooping crapshoot*. Sorry.
*or crap chute, if you want to get technical.
FUNNY-BUT-TRUE-STORY: My hubby John is a 250-pound tough guy who faints at needles. Once in college he had to get a shot in the cheek. The southern cheek. Well, the moment he bent over the table was the moment he first discovered that - you guessed it - he faints from needles.He regained consciousness on the floor, in the lap of the lovely lady nurse who had caught him, with his pants down.
He now tells this story to every nurse we meet.
Next time, maybe we should bring cupcakes to help smooth things over:
"You take the pink pill, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the bloody band aid, and dude, you are nuts."Audrey A., Shannon S., Matthias, Emily A., Jenny C., Sila Y., & Corey F., that's one way to call dibs on the vanilla cupcakes.
Reader Comments (156)
As a high-risk obstetrical nurse I LOVE that first cake. I see other nurses got the fetal monitors, the amni-hook, the packets of lube, but I think someone missed the long line of an epidural coming out the back. Good stuff. I must order that for our next department party!
That bit of *chocolate* below the *straw/thermometer* was too much.
If they wanted to make a cake unappetizing, they win the blue ribbon.
Ditto what brenkachicka said. Need mouthwash now.
Honestly the most disgusting thing in my opinion is the cupcakes with the bloody bandaids. Did someone actually think people would eat these?
fainting across the nurse's lap w/pants down? Guess you may be luck if she only only uses the thermometer instead of the paddles to revive you.
Pink pills please. Lots of pink pills.
I was looking at these with my 4 year old son...he said about the first cake "I hate that cake...that makes my tummy not feel so good." Simply put, but well said.
OMG I laughed so hard!!!
I swear I was just thinking "why is there a straw,there???"...and the I read your comment!
Thanks for a good laugh after a crappy rainy day!
This was truly the most disgusting post I've ever seen. I would lose my appetite at any of those parties. YUK! Certainly shock and awe cakes.
I think someone sat on a porcupine!
My mother used to work in an ER and sell custom cakes on the side, but I don't think she ever made any like this. I think it'd be fun to make the squiggly small intestines on the G.I. cake, though.
This should be called the no-fail diet website.
Pregnant cake...toco(blue) for contractions US(pink) for fetal heart rate.that's one low kiddo btw. the black looking line at the bottom is a fetal scalp electrode.(good catch) there is also a pair of exam gloves on the side of the cake near the amni hook.there is also more ky than you can shake a stick at. the ekg electrode are kind of woogie in their placement. hmm. wish our nurse manager would get our unit a cake like this for nurses week.
I'm amazed I only saw one comment saying this but...my very first thought when I looked at the intestine cake was "Wow, that is actually very anatomically accurate!"
I have no connection to the medical profession, but was glad to see someone in the field also said that. I feel validated that at least I was right :)
There are bar codes placed on things like blood bags, used to identify where they came from. Of course, I really can't tell if that's actually what that cake is representing.
OMG! You usually make me laugh, no doubt...but as a nurse, this made me feel in danger of a little stress incontinence! Lol...your commentary is 80% of the reason. Keep up the most excellent work :)
These cakes are a riot!!!
I must say, the cupcakes were very well made in spite of the uh, unappetizing theme.
Okay as another mom of boy/girl twins...there is not way that is a belly with twins! I don't care how many monitors there are (and someone did correctly point out there would be one more), the belly needs to be a lot bigger! (And thankfully I don't have that many stretch marks!)
Great post!
Wow... just... gross. ...*is queasy*
"Congratulations..." on getting a thermometer stuck where the sun doesn't shine??
I know it's supposed to congratulate two newly-minted nurses, but eeeeek. I guess if I were a nurse I'd find it hysterically funny! =)
I have nothing but respect for nurses. I had gallbladder surgery a few years back and my nurses were all fantastic. I blabbed on and on, higher than a kite before the surgery, and they just smiled and nodded!
Actually, I think the GI cake--in addition to being really accurate--is also really well-made! Somebody needs to find that decorator some better applications for his/her skillset!
Those are hilarious! and freaky...and gross. The first one--what realistic stretch marks! Jen, she's in labor most likely and those are all the monitors that strap to her to monitor her and the baby (heartrate, etc.)
The hairy butt with the straw would have made me choke! Thank goodness I wasn't having lunch. Your commentary is hilarious as usual, btw! Poor Charlotte and Anna. Their names and congratulations are written in the same poo brown and blood red as the stuff oozing out from the straw, er, thermometer.
The butt "where no man has gone before" with the candles in the anus i hilarious. it looks like it's "blowing" a party favor.
bloody bandaids? seriously? blech! that would work for daycare teachers or school nurses, too.
Cakes 4 and 5 look like something weird that came into the ER.....
Those nurses EARN their pay.
LOL @ Taylor. precisely!
I wonder if Charlotte and Anna are lesbians? or if the recipient of cake #4 is? or maybe she is a virgin....
Maybe the Canadian cake is an old-timey soap suds enema with all the junk they found.
(Just the perspective of an old Canadian nurse.)
I'm so glad that I just finished eating before moving onto Cake Wrecks in my reader. Funny though!! I would have a hard time stomaching (no pun intended) eating those cakes and cupcakes with old bandaids. ew!
I hate to say it, but me and my roommate were both thoroughly convinced for several minutes that the "boldly go" bum cake was an ejaculating penis.
Guess I shouldn't have looked at this right before lunch...
I can't believe how well-made that intestines cake is. However, I just recently watched George Romero's Day of the Dead, and can't help thinking that it would have been appropriate at a wrap party for that movie (albeit with a lot of translucent red icing on it...)
Having just had my third child about 4 weeks ago, I had to laugh at the fetal monitor cake. I'm quite sure my chest wasn't covered by anything quite as cute as that bra during labor.
Carol
Maybe I'm perverted, but the lower part of that intestine looks like a limp--
Oh, never mind!
Anyway, so...the cakemakers had to have had a crazy-fun time making these! Bet they laughed their asses off.
=^0.0^=
Anonymous said...
"I hate to say it, but me and my roommate were both thoroughly convinced for several minutes that the "boldly go" bum cake was an ejaculating penis."
******
Belonging to WHAT, a porcupine?
=^@.@^=
Mmkay, fun and games aside, it's actually kind of not cool for bakers or anyone to make fake pills and put them on display like candy. It's bad enough that so many pills look like candy and vice versa. It's hard enough to teach our little kids the difference without people confusing it on purpose.
Plus, ew.
Okay, the butt cakes are disgusting. As was the stomach one. I think I'm just going to boycott cake for a while. Ugh.
-Holly
Ugh. I can't stop twitching at the band-aid cupcakes. They wouldn't be so bad if they weren't DIRTY.
And that first cake is disturbing, mostly for the stretch marks. I like the fetal monitors, though.
Are you sure the one was not a colonoscopy? It would make sense too. No matter what, they are all kinda sick.
Wow. So glad I wasn't eating. But that second butt picture... is that red coming out from under the thermometer?! I think the nurse was waaaay too rough on that one.
I ask my self often on this site, especially though today. Who in the world could actually eat those. Yuck.
an alien is going to burst out of that first one
Methinks some of our esteemed British politicians might pay good money to be thus prone over nursey's lap.
Not to be gross, but I'm wondering if the "straw" is a rectal tube and not a thermometer. It would explain the.....leakage?
"To boldly go where no man has gone before"
I hope those aren't pinworms. /wince
Nurses deserve better! Lol...
p.s. it think you meant "Trekkie" not "Trekker". Just saying.
Susan said...
"...Who in the world could actually eat those."
------
They (nurses) see blood, crap, puke, and who-knows-what-else every day.
If they can deal with the real thing, then eating these (w)re(ck)-creations should be a piece of cake. And so it is. ;)
(I've got to stop looking at the limp-whatsis-intestine cake; it's making me crave kielbasa.)
=^u.u^=
Anon @ 5:05,
For SHAME! Trekkie is a derogatory term for someone who enjoys, nay, LOVES Star Trek. The real term is Trekker.
Thank you and live long and Wreck On!
john
Other commenters have already said everything I was going to say (all the accoutrements on the first cake have been correctly identified now, and I do have to make sure the nurses on L&D have seen this!), but I do have to say that those are the best stretch marks I have ever seen on a cake.
Also the best small and large intestine I have ever seen on a cake.
We'll gloss over the fact that these are the ONLY intestines and stretch marks I've seen on cakes (I think: unless I'm repressing the memory of prior Cake Wrecks). But they really are quite good, for their kind!
wv: logratim. I believe those were creatures of Mordor.
Cathy-Cate
Haha! Love the band-aid/bloody cupcakes. At least there were no CCCs of bums or chesty bits.
As an RN who had a terrible night at work in the ER last night, I have to say "Thank's!" for the excellent laughs! Made me feel much better...and I'm so doing those bloody bandaid cupcakes for work next year!
I actually think the cupcakes witht he pills on them are kinda neat... yeah, I know, I'm weird.
I never understood why people would want to eat anyting that looks like an ass. Is the though of eating something full of fecal matter so appealing?
I'm sure your husband appreciates you telling all of us that story too! (The used bandages on the cupcakes are so nasty!)
Love the cupcakes-they are too funny. The intestine cake was detailed. And the sick part is that I would still eat them
Wreck #6- The nurse's foot fell of... >.<