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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar312010

Rabbit Food

[singing] "The bunny, the bunny, ohhh I ate the bunny."

Or, uh, whatever these things are.

Holographic rabbit ears? I bet those get a lousy reception.


Do not look directly into the eye of Mara!

Now, picture a cartoon mouse flattened by a piano.

Or, just look at this:

Eek!

You know, I'm starting to think maybe shredded coconut isn't the bunny cake cure-all:


Somewhere in that haystack may be the rest of him.


What the...??
Are these on food court trays?

And yeah, they look like alien gophers wearing plastic rabbit ears. There's that, too.


[rapid blinking]

Uh...

I'm sorry; those "ears" have robbed me of the capacity for coherent thought. And the pink yo-yo thingies jammed into the jawline? I can't...I mean, I don't...That is to say, I have never...er. Huh.

[puffing out cheeks]

[scratching head]

[tapping fingers]

Right. Well, I'm going to wander off aimlessly now, in the hopes of finding something to restore my sanity. The rest of you feel free to talk amongst yourselves.


Ashley M., Sarah F., Anne B., K&J, Gail R., Laura S., & Brooke I., I don't want to tell you a joke that is funny I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny.

- Related Wreckage: Passover These Wrecks

Update from John: Apparently, what we took to be food court trays are actually meat trays which I think we all can agree, is sooo much better. And it raises a question: is it even cake or is it some lovely ground chuck slathered in mashed potatoes? The world may never know! (Unless, of course, somebody bought one and ate it. Then we'd probably know. Ya know?)

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Reader Comments (140)

Dang, I actually want to go find and eat one of those coconut bunny disasters.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Seriously, you need to get "Kill da Wabbit" by Metallica going in the background-that would have been just that extra little touch that this post needed. You know, like cakes on meat trays....and stuff....

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohnsonville

I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny...

Thanks, now I'm going to have that stuck in my head all day!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

And now I'll be singing the bunny song all week. Is that good or bad?
WV:lizines: Did they have to work hard to make these wrecks or is it just lizines?
TracyO

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

I must be the only one who didn't get the VeggieTales reference since my kids never got into them, but I LOVED the reference to the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland! :)

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

"Mara" reminds me of the evil bunny in Donnie Darko. *Shudder*
On another note: This whole post is like a huge mix and match game. I think our part in it is to figure out which ears belong on which animal (why are there antlers and troll ears on these easter treats?)

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie T.

But Monsieur Bob! We're not supposed to sing the bunny song!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Love the Veggie Tales ref!! Well played...well played...

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJolene

Love the VeggieTales reference today. :D

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLes

Seriously Jen, you might be the most perfect person ever. You're the only other person I've come in contact with (well, you know, contact of some sort) that simultaneously loves VeggieTales, Star Trek, and Doctor Who. I mean, how much cooler could you possibly get? I'm just saying...

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSleep Goblin

Heehee...maybe if we played the drinking game we made up in college to that particular VeggieTales episode (drink every time they said "bunny") they'd actually start to resemble bunnies!

wv: trict - They've tricted us into thinking these have something to do with Easter!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do people actually PAY for these cakes? I'm no Martha, but good lord, if someone came to my house with one of those I'd break out the roach spray. Absolutely hilarious!

ps - my favorite was the Jack-o-lope rabbit meets Tim Burton on Acid.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSpanky

Whoa! I've never even considered a jackalope cake before, but those -- uh, "lovely" -- things on the food trays have GOT to be jackalopes. And I had no idea that jackalopes were involved in helping the Easter bunny.
Gosh, you just learn things every day.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

OMG That video was just HILARIOUS!

The bunny, The bunny, Whoa! I ate the bunny, I didn't eat my weird cake, just the bunny!

Funny as always, thanx!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

I love Veggie Tales!

SteveThePocket-
"Classic VeggieTales. Back when their characters were allowed to threaten murder and sing songs about skipping church to worship a bunny statue. You know, for kids!"

There are many examples of fairy tales/children's stories with shocking negative examples in them. In the original Red Riding Hood, both the girl and her granny got eaten. In the original Cinderella, the evil sisters cut their feet down to size to fit into the slipper.

In the stories that have stood the test of time, the hero/heroine overcomes the negative circumstance, and emerges stronger.

In the original Bible story, obviously there were no chocolate bunnies, but there was a statue, a furnace, and a death threat. Actually attempted murder that was unsuccessful. Veggie Tales toned it down a bit, in fact. :)

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

Uhhh....well the first one with its STARING EYES scares me as much as the one did yesterday. Ew, they're following me around the room...

Why do none of these--save the plastic flotsam on the haystack cake--look remotely happy? NOTHING says 'Happy Easter' to me.

The Santas we had this year had the same effect. They were all scary instead of merry. I wonder why that is?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Ya know. . . you may be onto something with the mashed potatoes explanation. . .especially if heaped over a pile of hamburger meat. Not that I want to admit it, but I've left mashed potatoes in the back of the fridge long enough to develop multicolored clusters of molds and bacteria! Imagine the possibilities if there was raw meat underneath! Whoa. Wait. I don't have to imagine. I think you pegged it. Kathleen

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The next to the last one my 5 year old came in the room and said, "Oh, reindeers!".

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristan

The only thing redeeming about today's post is the Veggie Tale's references...

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Those food trays, I'm pretty sure, are those styrofoam trays that normally hold *meat.*

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Wow where to begin...
the first bunny looks like it is either terrified or perhaps the holographic ears are better conductors than thought and he is being electrocuted.
i agree that these bunnies are super scary the one that is coming out of the yellow coconut coccoon kind of looks like a killer alien bunny. and the jackalopes with boobs are just scary. hopefully y'all realize that the styrofoam trays do not start with meat on them they come as a stack of styrofoam trays that they put meat on although i have seen many other bakeries use them for cookies and such.
the last one looks like it has boxing gloves on
(wv:pelyzess-pleyzess no more scary binnies)

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkmawesome

and now I'll be singing Veggietales all day... thanks

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDani

VeggieTales!!! Jen, have we ever told you how awesome you are? way more awesome than these freaky bunnies.

"I didn't eat my soup or my bread, just the bunny"

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I thought the funny lumps on the alien gophers were boobs!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

WTH?!? I don't get it. People actually fork over cash for this crap?!?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Yay! My cake made it on today! I'm telling everyone I know! haha.
I'm afraid cakes on meat trays is really really bad.
no bunny cake for me this year.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

You need to watch Henson's "The Tale of the Bunny Picnic".

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiamond

The eyes look like deer poop!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who thought the alien gophers had boobs. Careful, we might end up with an Epcot pic there for all the indecency in that picture! (do they count alien animal nudity as indecent??)

wv: lumpri - These cakes are kinda lumpri and blobbri.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

Wait. Was that *really* an old school Peter Davison Dr. Who reference? Really? You just so totally made my day. Wow.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliceBlue

http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/

Real rabbits everywhere disapprove of these cakes!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

I'm reading the first line saying "They didn't. No, wait. They DID." Then I clicked on the link and found out that indeed, you DID. :) Veggietales rock. Totally funny reference. I would never eat one of thoes "I-just-got-flattened-by-a-steam-roller-and-STILL-all-the-king's-horses-and-all-the-king's-men-couldn't-put-me-back-togeather-again" sorry excuses for cakes. Blech. That is one way to ruin your Easter morning. "Hey, kids; forget thoes candy eggs: Here's something you *really* want for breakfast!" Aw, yeahhh, mommy. You de bomb.

What's worse: That people are making these works of "art", or that they are actually selling them???

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Happiness is reading your blog daily.

The bonus bit of fangirl squeal is when I see your blog reposted by a local bakery facebook page (Missoula, MT) that has the worst fugly decorated cakes ever! That's saying something when your Easter Bunny Rant of fugly bunnies (or were those lambs?) even has fugly decorators squirming!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've watched enough House to know that that last bunny has Cushing's Syndrome.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

Food court trays would have been so much better! Cuz, you know, they double as sleds...

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

The poor old shredded coconut bunny looks really pissed off!

What is Veggie Tales?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKingfisherBlue

Just after I saw this update on FB, Kinnikinnick posted some quite frightening Gluten Free versions of the ever-feared easter bunny cake. AAH!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3822549&id=89471333508

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fancy Pansy

Animal flashcards for bakers are sounding like a better and better idea.
The set should also include the correct spellings of some common cake inscriptions, like "Happy Birthday," "Congratulations," "It a Gril," and "Happy FalkerSatherhood."

WV: ingesser. The ingesser of these cakes is likley to have a tummyache.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Absolutely hilarious post (as usual). I'm a long-time reader of this site, but honestly I think these are some of the worst cakes I've ever seen. At some point you have to ask: Are these even food anymore?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Regarding that last one -- I believe this is a representation of a male bunny inflating its neck sacs in order to attract a mate. Grouse do this, so why not bunnies?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermartini

Have you ever seen Raving Rabbids? Here is a picture of a cake:

http://cakes.r-bdesigns.com/cakes/Custom/ravingrabbis.jpg

Here is a picture of the actual Raving Rabbid (from a video game):

http://forevergeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rabbid.jpg

Some rabbits were made ugly.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

why does the 2nd one, the CCC bunny, have a black eye and what appears to be really big moles...ewww

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhollyberry1130

Hey great post

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March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlfredo

Is that first shocked bunny having a colonoscopy with that face? And is he suffering from hypothermia? (BLUE? really? is it a boy?) but the chicks are really cute. I love how the one is looking right at me. aww...little green beak.

#2 is deranged. and apparently sick. the eyes I cannot explain.

#3: sheep? mouse? not a bunny with those round ears. and ugly regardless.

nice electrified whiskers on #4. also shocking. or shocked, like he's about to be pounced on by a predator. but a yellow body with white coconut flakes and a white head? what is the logic here?

haybale bunny is pretty pathetic. just slap a flotsam head to the side of a yellow coconut encrusted blob. must have been a trainee.

#6. I had to look twice. I thought those were antlers. then I though Jen accidentally posted reindeer cakes. until I saw the eggs. and are those olive eyes?? what's with the airbrushed spotted bodies? could the decorator not decide whether to make it an animal or an egg? or tried to make bunnies that looked like eggs? with antlers? and danish faced?

the last one defies description.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You guys are so FUNNY!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My little boy said that they look like cats...he thinks? I loved the one with the crazy eye! Hilarious!

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So does that mean that Sunday Sweets this week is going to be the New and Improved Bunny Song...er, cake? ;)

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Aaaeeeiioouu!

Those are the vowels. Sometimes you gotta break the rules.

Fourpostment/Dr. Demento

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

this is EXACTLY why i was afraid of the easter bunny until the age of like, 15.

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett

Meat trays? Do you mean to say that there are actual bunnies inside those cakes?

March 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDJ

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