Tuesday
Feb022010
Holy Smokes!
February 2, 2010
I should probably filter what I say here, but when I'm craving some delicious cake, nothing matches the taste of an ashtray full of cigarette butts:
Mmmm.
Say, if the decorator got rid of just one of those smokes, would the cake then be a cigarette lighter? {{groan}}
Can't bear the thought of chomping on butts? Then why not chew on this mouth-watering tobacco can instead?
Or if that bear is too ferocious for ya, we can always replace it with a cute little donkey:
(See, the bear's head is the donkey ears, and the front leg is his head. See it? He's just reaching down to enjoy some delicious wintergreen grass. Eh? Right? Who's with me, here?)Moving on...
Look, guys, just because her name is Ashley doesn't mean this is necessary:
(Maybe it was a gift from her friends CHARlie, TARa, and PIPEr.)
Plus, why a cigarette cake when Ashley has never even had a cigarette before?
At least I'm guessing she hasn't, since that would have been illegal. And no one smokes before they're legally permitted to - right, Ashley? Right?
At least I'm guessing she hasn't, since that would have been illegal. And no one smokes before they're legally permitted to - right, Ashley? Right?
Making Turkish cigarette cakes must be a real drag:
Loosely translated, "Sigara icmek omru azaltir" means, "Quitting cigarette-themed display cakes greatly reduces loss of customers."
Daniella T., Renee G., Julie M., Courtney M., & Mark B., you guys are a breath of fresh air. NOTE FROM JEN: Who is Number1? She's my new Jen-clone. Yep. She's just like me, only smarter, cuter, and gosh darn it, a wee bit funnier. I've strong-armed her into doing a few guest posts from time to time, so y'all be nice to "the new Jen" while she gets her feet wet around here. (After that, though, she's fair game. Mwahahahah!)
- Related wreckage: Proper Grooming
Reader Comments (131)
The Turkish cake so reminded me of when I lived in Istanbul and the warnings on the cigarette boxes just made me laugh because they are sooo blatant. My favorite one translated simply as "Cigarettes KILL YOU."
Just a word of advice to the new Jen. Don't use italics. It makes it seem like you think we are too stupid to get it.
Eurgh! I can't get over how incredibly tacky these all are, no matter how well-done they may be. Yuck! I know that first one is really frosting and such, but I have no desire to eat it!
I nearly lost my appetite for the cake I made for my LOST premier party tonight.... bllleeehhh!!
I gagged. Then I though of stale cigarette smell and gagged harder. Who the heck though those were good ideas.
I would totally eat the pregnant cakes before I could choke down an ashtray cake. And I adore cake. I could eat it all the time. But not these.
I agree with those who stand amazed at the excellent execution and total revoltingness of the subject matter.
Great job #1-- I'm always a little sad when I see cakes like this... most of them are done well, they are just horrible ideas. What a waste of talent
Eeeeeeewwwwwww!
My husband, upon seeing the ashtray wreck ... "EWWWW. Who's gonna eat THAT?" I have to agree, yick. Even if you're a die hard smoker, I couldn't get past the mind-tastebud connection that tells me "I know it isn't REALLY ash, but I taste ash."
WV: Slowbet - It's one hell of a slowbet that I'll touch that ashtray cake with a 10 foot pole.
The post was great, as usual, but I *really* could have used a disclaimer. . . something like, do not read while eating breakfast. . . ugh.
-Sarah
Hmm, reminds me of those delicious cat box cakes. "Yummy".
But I have to say, #2 is very well made and doesn't seem that gross to me. But the rest? Ugh...
I think I found my new diet plan....
Thanks for the cakes! Love you guys!
This was the first time on this site that I ever felt compelled to shield the computer screen from my 6 year old daughter. DISGUSTING. Sometimes, no matter how well executed or crafted, a wreck is a wreck, because it just shouldn't exist. Bleh!
Coming across this post got to reaming me of our college days...when we use to do all such activities...just to relieve our minds form all the stress and depression of the studies.
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"Greatly reduces loss of customers"
Fuuuunnnnnneeeeeeee.
Although, I have no idea why I find that delightful.
I can't even imagine eating those...
"Just a word of advice to the new Jen. Don't use italics. It makes it seem like you think we are too stupid to get it."
Perhaps YOU haven't NOTICED how people write emphasis on certain words in HUMOR BLOGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU??
Sometimes the wise man is the biggest fool of all.
Hey, I smoke and all, but I'm not asking for a cigarette-themed birthday cake. That's just...weird.
I've been an addict to this site for months now, but I have to say, these tobacco cakes are actually the first cakes I seriously would never eat. They are DISGUSTING, especially that first one. EWEWWWWWWWWWWW. I just lost my appetite for the rest of my life.
I'd rather eat the cake with the pregnancy stick on it.
-Sue, Canada
What else could say, "We want to celebrate the day of your birth by reminding you of your cancer-inducing addiction"!
Um.. Jen, about the comment you said about the Ashly cake.
In some states it is legal for someone under the age of 18 to smoke cigarette, but not buy them. Buying cigarettes under the age of 18 is illegal.
Actually some places you only have to be seventeen to legally smoke, but eighteen to buy the smokes. It's a cruel work isn't it? lol, I'm not a smoker and don't think I could even eat that butt cake at the beginning! All I would taste in my mouth would be ash...
Wow, that 18th birthday cake looks like it could have been my friend's birthday cake. Her name is also Ashley and she used to smoke a lot.
This proves you can get secondhand gagging by looking at these cakes.
The foot fungus and the bedbugs don't seem so unappetizing anymore...
Tobacco and cake are two things that should never, ever go together. Blech!
PURE INSANITY!! can't even believe it. the ashtray is craziness!
BTW - legal age to buy smokes in England (where I live) is 16! Which funny to me, because the DRIVING age is 17!
I don't know if I can agree with these being cake wrecks...well, the second Grizzly one, maybe. But these seem to reflect the poor taste of whoever commissoned them, since almost all of these are really, really well done. Particularly the first Grizzly cake. So, come on, cut the decorators a break...unless, of course, this was featured in the bakery's design book as an option.
Now that you mention it, black icing does kind of taste like that :)
ew
cigarette cakes...
Cakes and cigarettes do not go together at all. No no no.
Alright, the birthday cake dedicated to Ashley is not quite what you think...
The "cigarette" sitting in the ash tray is a joint and the pack of menthols are there also to show that this is, in fact, a cake for a pot smoker. A lot of pot smokers smoke menthols because it's "cooling" on your throat because pot is so harsh.
Yep.