Wednesday
Jan202010
I Eat Terror For Breakfast
January 20, 2010 Assuming "terror" is another word for cake, of course.
Which, at least with these cakes, I'm pretty sure it is.
Sure, this may look like a fuzzy potato wearing a Skeletor mask and a literal banana hammock, but I think it's supposed to be a monkey. (Yes, a monkey.) Which kinda makes Shara's Curious George Wreck look positively cuddly by comparison, huh?
Still, it could've been worse. That banana hammock could have been made with these:
Peeling Lucky, punk?Well, I wouldn't advise it; Lucky here has one nasty split personality.
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)
Hey bakers, do you have too many customers? Is the constant stream of business interfering with your "me time"? Tired of making all those cakes? No problem!! Now you can scare those paying customers off with THE FACE OF PURE EVIL™!
"I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.(OH, AND TRY THE ECLAIRS. THEY'RE DELISH.)"
Alice, Baily A., & Liz B., these Wrecks aren't boaring you, are they?
- Related Wreckage: I Call Fowl
Reader Comments (132)
I never liked Lord of the Flies, and that last cake is bringing up some bad memories of 8th grade (and 11th)... No. Just, no. *curls up in fetal position crying from the memories*
i thought the first one might be one of the singing 'california raisins'; the second one a seductive moon/banana hybrid, and i can only guess that the boar's head is for a luau, or maybe for the 'boars head' meat company's annual employee party.
-helen
wv: persness- 'will the persness who made these cakes please consider early retirement?'
Finally I have a go-to baker for my upcoming parties celebrating The Godfather, Seven, Sleepy Hollow and Mars Attacks! Think they could also handle The Man With Two Brains?
You know, I think that pig is actually foaming at the mouth a little. . .
Liz in Seattle
Why does the third cake remind me of "Loed of the Flies?"
:D
Jenn
'Moisturize me!' The second cake reminds me of Cassandra, the Last Human in Doctor Who.
I think the first one is supposed to be a Wild Thing from "Where The Wild Things Are." Of course, it looks that Wild Thing would like to eat us...
Chiquito, the hot new fashion designer, sued the tabloid yesterday for referring to his new line of apparel as "fruity."
All I can think of with the last cake is, "Kill the pig. Spill her blood. Bash her in."
WV: thling: What is that thling??
I never read "Lord of the Flies." Now you've got me curious.
I'm guessing that last cake was done for a Boar's Head Yule Log festival, since that is held in early January.
The memory of that first one will help me stick to my post-holiday diet for a long time.
**snicker** My word verification is "sperm".
Is it just me or does cake #2 look like a drag queen banana? Just sayin'...
OMG!!! that last one is a relic from the godfather movies isn' it?
It totally made me shudder.
WHAT was someone thinking about?!
LOL, "literal banana hammock"! Well said.
Holy scary pig cake.
What's with the radishes?
I think the last cake is fabulous. It allows you to create the impression of a sumptuous royal feast with just one course. And that course is cake!
Could the boars head cake actually be an Arkansas Razorback? The way it is laid out on a platter, though, I think this might be the cake the opposing team would order for tailgating, not one the Hog fan would order.
Is that last one supposed to be for a "Lord of the Flies" party?
Our Episcopal Church has a Boars Head Celebration every year. It is a big formal occasion with the symphony and opera singers. There are amazing costumes, and the whole thing is an analogy of the triumph of good over evil (ie, Christ being born into the world). I was recently on vacation and had the opportunity to see a wild boar in the wild, and I can assure you it would make one happy to see its head on a platter! Those things are big, brave, and frightening! But I digress, we use a paper mache boars head but a cake like this would be amazing.
Hey Jen!
Thank you so much for raising money for TWLOHA for Christmas! It is so appreciated and we're putting it toward our IM Alive project, an live online crisis center (more info here: http://www.twloha.com/move/imalive/). We're partnering with the Kristin Brooks Hope Center to get this started.
Right now we are currently in the running to win $1 million from Chase Community Giving to help fund this project, we just need our supporters to vote for us. It's really easy to vote and it takes about 3 seconds...Any help you can provide would be amazing! Tell all of your friends! To vote, go here: http://bit.ly/7si7Be.
Thank you so much! We love your blog (definitely adds some light to our heavy days!)
With Hope,
Team TWLOHA
Okay, I have a really good imagination but there is no way, no how, that I look at the first cake and see anything having to do with monkeys. Wow. At least it will probably taste good--if it's cake, I'll eat it! =)
LOL that banana is sassy.
The pig's head reminds me of a prop (pig's head from a butcher shop) that we used in a haunted house one year. Bleah!
No, Michelle, it's not just you...
Wow...I actually thought the first one was a cockroach for a minute...
These are pretty terrifying!
Ewh!! What were they thinking. The pigs head is just awful.
To me the boar's head resembled what I'd always pictured the cupachabra looked like. Ha.
Oh, that last one is from the movie Motel Hell, right? "It takes all kinds of critters..."
That first one reminds me of something from "Happy Gilmore":
"I eat pieces of $#!t like you for breakfast!"
"You eat pieces of $#!t for breakfast?"
WV--speiffi: what these cakes are NOT.
Thanks to the caption at the bottom of the Sugary Pig's Head of Horror, I not keep getting a visual of the thing sitting in the window of the bakery yelling random apocalyptic, bakery-themed stuff at people XD
"Prepare to meet you're fondant-covered doom!! NOW GLUTEN FREE!! RAAAAH!!'
Maybe I'm just wierd o.0
i like the banana! its cool! can i have that for my birthday?
Third cake looks like a great diet motivation cake.
That monkey cake is seriously disturbing.
I must be weird because I thought the pig head was pretty cool. Sure would be a talked about center piece.
That first cake looks like some sort of Death Mask-wearing tree-stump entity. Even for a Death Mask it looks grim. I'm pretty sure I'm going to wake up one night and find that thing watching me through a window.
Mary, I agree with you. The boar's head cake is a great subtlety ("illusion food"). It would be welcome at most any S.C.A. event.
Did someone ask for a Lord of the Flies cake or what?
My daughter works for the National Pork Producers and as part of her job, she sends out recipes for things like a whole hog roast, or a Holiday Boar's head (or Head Cheese). I'm sure Cake #3 is not quite what she is looking for.
WV dewari. After looking at the cakes today, we need to have a little more Dewari on the rocks.
AHHHH!!!! Lord of the Flies flashbacks! Get it away, get it away! D:
am i the only one thinking of Lord of the Flies here?
Yikes. Terrible.
Really, I am only posting because of the wv.
wv: derbowle - (in German accent) "The icing on der boars head cake really hurts der bowle."
My 4 yr old daugher happened to be looking over my shoulder and saw the pig head cake and shouted, "What is that?!!! Is that a cake made out of poop?"
You know, I've always wondered if Wreckorators read this site. I wonder if they scour it religiously in fear they'll end up on it? And you know what that makes me say? BAHAHAHAHA!
That is some NICE banana bling!
Cake #2 looks like a cross-dressing banana stripper.
That last one seems a bit Godfather...
The first made me think of Captain Caveman from the cartoons.
I think the first one totally looks like a giant cockroach!
The banana cake looks like Michael Jackson.
Wow that last cake is just frightening. When in the hell would you actually need a roasted pig head cake?
The second cake looks to be the start in a long line of Michael Jackson memorial cakes;)