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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Aug272009

Butterfly Misses

[singing] "There's two things I know for sure:

"These Wrecks number seven..." (okay, six)

"And they'll make you want to hurl!"

Sorry for inflicting you with that song. Heh. Ok, now let's see how else bakeries destroy the seemingly simple butterfly, shall we?

First, every Wreckerator knows you have to make butterflies out of cupcakes. Otherwise, you run the risk of them looking like...well, butterflies.

And we can't have that, now, can we?

But malformed, lumpy wings just aren't enough. Sometimes a wacky mustache is needed:

"Oui oui, I believe I have, how you say, wee wee'd mehself! Hon hon hon!"

Or maybe a turd-errific, camo-riddled model:

Uh, guys? Exactly which demographic are you going for here? I mean, I don't think little boys are wild about butterflies, and little girls don't usually like camo OR poop.

Luckily, though, some butterflies still get a happy ending.



Charlotte F., Raven, Rachael, Rebecca R., Jessica A., & Bijan P., stop looking at me like that; I was merely referring to his smiley face. Really.

- Related Wreckage: It's a Wreck Off!

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Reader Comments (174)

Much like EB, I also thought at first that you said "happy ending" b/c the last one was kind of cute. Then... OH-MY-GAWD. Absolutely genius.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

The wings on #5 look like the pictures going around of the swine flu virus.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstaceym

hehe, love the last one :-)

Lorias
http://indianasusanboylefan.blogspot.com/

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorias

I have to comment just for the wv:

Peditt:

Peditt. Be careful of that last cake, and please don't peditt.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberley

The center part almost always looks like a wiener..

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

Oh my! Never thought a butterfly cake would invoke a "That's what she said" thought in my head! I wouldn't have noticed that last one's interesting content if you hadn't referenced it. Now it's just going to haunt me!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

As others have said, the final cake is a masterwork because it succeeds in being such a pretty butterfly ... and then you see it.

I imagine many repetitions of a scene where someone buys it and brings it home in a box. After dinner they announce the surprise and set it out on the table. Kids shriek in happiness at the presence of cake. Spouse shrieks in either laughter or horror. I'll bet there are households where the children wouldn't be allowed to eat this thing.

My word verification is simply "cries."

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Oh! So ugly!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

Am I the only loser who doesn't know what song you're singing?? :(
I'm glad you told us the first two are supposed to bring "butterflies" to mind because that's NOT what I thought when I saw them.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That butterfly with the extra-wide, oozing black body definitely makes me want to hurl!!!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So...both the third and sixth cakes look like bones. Awesome!!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

The last one is a gay willy !

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Kristina - Only if it is a turtle that walked under a bear in the woods... ahem. eww.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

Thank you so much for being the bright spot in my day.

The best part about that last cake is that you get distracted by the wings and think it's pretty good at first glance. Then, with a second glance, it becomes so obvious that you pretty much fall off your chair, laughing/choking. :)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am glad I am not the only one that thought the last butterfly looked a little "naughty." ;)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridgette

Once upon a time a little penis started making himself a cocoon...

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterladykay

OMG that's soooooooooo funny! =)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaci

I think I almost peed my pants while laughing at the last one! Good stuff!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsh and Becky

that's the dirtiest cutest butterfly I've ever seen!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I'm only saying this because nobody seems to have said it before, and I certainly don't want this to be another epcot, but butterfly #4's "mustache" seems like the wreckorator was trying to do antennae, but since it's a CCC (patoey!) s/he couldn't put the antennae on top of the head where they normally go. I think it looks more like a mustache, though.
I love your blog, keep being awesome :)

Hannah

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Heh Heh...Boner-fly" [/Beavis&Butthead]

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've noticed that there are the people who understood the happy ending innuendo, and those who were totally oblivious.

"I kinda like the last one.... it's cute."
"You know, I kind of think the last butterfly is cute. A little girl would love that cake!"

I mean, really?

"Is it just me or does that last one resemble a certain part of the male genitalia?"

*sighs* apparently Jen's wit was lost on these people...

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethStev

Ok so as a teacher in a class named "butterfly" I SO need one of these when we finish our butterfly activites! I'm thinking frenchy with the mustache will go over well. Toddlers LOVE teletubbie poops! YAY Blue tongues!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRucifey

"Yes the last one IS decent and much better looking. I have a butterfly shaped cake pan, I need to try it one of these days. :p"

*sighs again* Please tell me that comment was not written by yet another innocent person who missed the "happy ending" joke... please

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethStev

Those two turtles that are stuck together are having real issues! I'm thinking separation surgery is eminent!

WV: foredis: Foredis, I was cooking dinner. Afterdis, I wash the dishes.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeesler Chaos

I would say that one is a dragonfly, not a butterfly. Still ugly, though.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTy

Are you sure the camo thingy is a butterfly? Is it even edible?

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, yeah, put me in with the "at first I didn't see it" crowd. But the first thing my husband said when I showed him Mr. Happy was--"it's a penis with wings. And he's smiling."

WV: sidert: that last cake made me laugh so hard my sidert.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

It's a turtle with a belt, thank you.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@ Shinnewn: two bats hiding under a snake--LMAO

another good WV: reatio--the reatio of wrecks to CCC's is high

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

For some reason, I imagined this in the voice of those little french peas on Veggie Tales. (I blame the kids)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMisty

Weird Al's "Headline News" is now running through my head.

Lesson learned today: If Little Mr Happy is missing, just run to the nearest bakery.

Unless, of course, you know of a NASA party with a shuttle cake that's closer.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Ok, so I'm not the only one who saw that on the last butterfly. Thank goodness!

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne Whiteley

ok so all of your wrecks make me laugh but this is the first one i'm commenting on because that HAPPY ENDING one is just so frickin funny!!! i mean look at the poor thing, he really does look so happy, mwwuaahhhh!!

although i admit i feel badly for the folks who didn't get that joke :-)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I think the camo one looks more like a turtle wearing a belt. Maybe it is supposed to be a Ninja Turtle?

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My little girl wants a butterfly cake for her next birthday (not until November). Now I know what NOT to do.

Hey, I have a butterfly shaped cake pan. It's easy. There will be no cupcakes involved.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Yeah, at first I saw the last one and was like "well, for a CCC is not HORRID but... oh... wait... what? OHHHHH!" and now I get it. Yeah, um, I'm gonna agree with the "unfortunate color choice" thing. I wouldn't call it "disgusting" though. I'd still eat it.

Actually, if I remember this years from now (assuming it'll be years from now) when I get married, I SO want a happy face penis butterfly as my bachelorette cake. Maybe not a CCC though.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I guess my mind is more pure than most because I had to look a long time before I figured out what was wrong with the last one. I thought you said happy ending because it actually looks like a butterfly.

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one isn't so bad, for a CCC. A bit misshapen, but kind of pretty. In a weird way.g

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLhyzz

I'm gonna have to go with ninja turtle over the camo butterfly.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Wilton makes actual CCC pans....... in a butterfly shape. Maybe decorators should use these instead...... hey, at least they won't mess up the shape!

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaliforniaMorning

Apparently, I am the only one who thinks the butterfly wings white paisley-shaped sections resemble that oh, so happy ending...

For those NOT in the know... "Happy Ending" is what sometimes occurs at the end of a massage as a less-than-legal massage parlor. Oh, to be young and innocent again... ;)

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

There *is* two things? Ugh. I can see someone starting Grammar Wrecks.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Uh-oh, the hearts and 'splashes' decoration is not making me feel at all comfortable about the last one..

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteritdnb

Well, you know, my son likes butterflies and my daughter likes poo (doesn't object to camo either), but I can't see either of them going for that lumpy mess.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAriane

The camo one looks like some kind of mitochondiral division or something. OMG! The CCCs are multiplying! ACK!

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPip

Urrrggghhh...

that last one looks like a cleverly concealed phallic symbol... I would not wanna be the little 6 year old girl's momma who had to bring THAT one home and explain it to my husband! Let alone, decide which little girls got to eat the.... ..... ..... um... "pink" part.

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuperJinx

I think the last one was deliberately done that way--subtle yet not, just to see if the cake orderer would notice. You have to have fun with your work, right?

And the poop/camo one could be a turtle trying to get that hourglass shell shape with a belt.

wv: ourkiddi

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdie Frau

Okay - I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the last cake belongs in the same category as the infamous 'fireman' cake? Flesh colored icing is never, never, ever, ever, a good idea.

My verify word is . . . .

::drum roll::

pecksi

Appropriate on just too many levels.

Even my computer was laughing and rejected the above referenced verify word. The new one is good too: "imewerat"

"On full moon nights I will be crawling through your trash, because imewerat."

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterterri

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