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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug252009

Truth in Advertising

Bakers, in today's lagging economy the race to earn customers' hard-earned dollars is on. So how can you stay ahead of your competition? With tasteful, quality display-cakes, that's how.

Yep, you want displays that draw people in. Displays that show off your skills. Displays that say, "Hey, we're a modern, 'with-it' bakery that knows just how to relate to today's generation."

"You see, kids, there once was a time when phones had cords on them."

You also want cakes that show you take your job seriously:

And that your figure modeling is second-to-none:

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS. TAKE US HOME OR WE WILL STUN YOU WITH OUR LASER EYES. JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA."

But also some that show you aren't lacking in the crazy department:

"Proud to be the only bakery that offers large chocolate grenades in our 'Peeps VS Bobble-Heads Soccer Match in the Desert of Doom' design - now with random Rugrats!"

Jasmine D., Erin F., Lisa M., Sarah N., & Maren J., can you spot the grenade?

- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display

« 9 Out of 10 Child Psychologists Agree: | Main | Forget the Ballgame. Just Take Me Out. »

Reader Comments (128)

Are you sure those are Peeps? Looks like Misty has created an army of Psyduck! @__@!!!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBanana Harlequin

I really like the teen cake, actually. Of course, that makes me old enough to remember talking on phones with cords! LOL

~Amy B,

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I'm gonna go with Bye Bye Birdie on that second cake, because that is totally a rotary dial phone she is using.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeki

So, I clicked on the bookmark for this page and then I had to answer the phone, and look away. When I looked back at the screen I was literally startled by the heap/doll/crochet monstrosity.

Actual WV: recilshl - when a wreck is both wrecky and short bus special "wreckilishl"

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNorkio

Is the first one supposed to be "The Princess and the Pea?" If so, good job! If not, ehh...not so much.

You know, I might just be waxing nostalgic, but I dig the phone girl cake. That could be really cute if someone updated it. Of course, when I was 13 having a phone was a big deal. Nowadays girls might look at that and go, "Psshh. I had a phone, an iPod, and a Wii when I was seven."

The aliens are great. Either that or they're stunned by other wrecks in their display window.

LAWLZ for the pan-dimensional soccer game. Although the chocolate bleachers are clever, if they're real.

Wreck on! =D

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Thank goodness for Sherri in Austin's explanation on what that last thing might be. All I knew for sure was that it couldn't be a cake. I once made a castle out of sugar cubes for a project in the 3rd grade, and I thought perhaps it was something along those kinds of lines...

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

is that chick on the phone eating a turkey drumstick? o.0

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica

"GREETINGS, HUMANS. WE ARE TWO UNIQUE FEMALES WHO ENJOY SITTING IN CASUAL MANNERS." Man, I'm still laughing at this! Perfect awkward English, Jen.

My first thought was they were meant to be blow-up dolls, but I like the alien theory more.

HA! - WV whemenh. The figures on that cake are surely not women, they are whemenh.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Wow. Those Bobbleheads sure have some balls. There's no way the Peeps can win.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

The Peep in the middle of the bleachers on the right looks like it is part of a Dali painting and is melting and sliding down the bleachers.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjamie95

I actually really got a kick out of the cake models with ginormous eyes...and whatever else is wrong with them. Funny, funny!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Let's not forget the obscure Pokemon figure on the soccer cake as well!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNat

I'm wondering why there are pokemon characters on the last cake.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cake is more of a wreck than you realize. That's a retro nude pinup doll in a see-thru nightie. Truckers used to put them on their dashboards.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

i think the "grenade" is an Easter egg...

No, I think it's Epcot.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

I've got a feeling that Julie has LONG AGO seen her 13th birthday. Either that or that's a cake out of Mad Men.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermudslicker

Dunno what kind of freaky world you live in but there's nothing wrong with the phone cake! Phones like that are completely normal! o_0

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterclashcc

I think that guy on the right with the soccer ball is a Vulcan. Who knew Vulcans played soccer! Ah, cakes, you teach us so much.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermochaxlight

My cousin had a telephone cake like that when she turned sixteen.

In 1980.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

OMG Anonymous, Mexican ball court was exactly my first thought! It's probably less my esoteric mind going there than my Master's in Anthro. Those bobble heads are going to be decapitated if they lose. That would actually be kind of funny!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

final cake also has a couple of pokemon characters..
I believe I see Professor Oak, Brock and Misty on there as well as Angelica from Rugrats? o.O

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second one is, I'm pretty sure, based on the comic Luann. The dog looks about right, as is the pose with the phone and brush on the bed, although the main character's face is way off.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luann_(comic_strip)

http://books.google.com/books?id=lRPPxVz3LosC&dq=luann&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=bZnH8i7J1K&sig=6U2hK1LcA1oVBmoMIKB4QjwsSyw&hl=en&ei=_kiUStqfDIyCswP_3pHNDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5#v=onepage&q=&f=false

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZhoen

...I don't see the wreck on the teen cake. :/

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Bloody Hell!! Cake number one looks like Rapunzel, waiting for her hero to scale the tower walls and rescue her. (She's sinking!! ) Doesn't seem too worried about it, though...all leaning back and casual-like...biding her time taking in the sprawling views below her...
@ Strange Mamma:
Forget the "loop," and rest assured that throwing up AFTER having cake is still en vogue...especially when the cakes are as feisty as these.
@ Blue Jean:
I actually was ALIVE way back when they had dial phones!!! Great fun they were; we children would gather together after chores were done and take turns dialing numbers just for fun. It was EXTRA special when electricity came along and we could actually call people.
********
*Rrriiinngg! Rrrriiinnng!* "Hello? Yes, this is Ann Margret's stunt double. You want me to pick the phone up off the floor?? But--but--it's the size of a Volkswagon! I quit!!"

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I see Misty & Brock from the Pokemon on that last cake!!!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Isn't that doll on the left side of the soccer cake Misty from Pokemon?
;__; Poor Misty. I feel bad for her.
-

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterellie

Big Whoop Jen.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

What I find amazing (and a tad scary) is I bet that is a Spanish-based cake, because I'd bet a small sum of money those are F.C. Barcelona team figurines: I think I recognize Puyol, Marquez, and Eto'o. Not sure about the others, especially the Vulcan; Xavi?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteven S.

I see pokemon figures, not Rugrats.
The tall redhead figure is totally Misty.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one is like a Where's Waldo?

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaine

Love the scary eyes on the fondant women - did somebody not actually look at them after they created them?

Julie from
http://www.cakesandkids.com" rel="nofollow">CakesAndKids.com

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKidsCakes

Right, I forget who it was above who said it first, but I agree - my initial thought when I saw the Casual Ladies was "Is it me, or does that totally look like Tori Spelling?"

WV: Moniat - I think the corded telephone cake looks like it could be an ad for some kind of feminine hygiene product - new Moniat.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKiki Zala

The scary alien girls on Cake #4 remind me of The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 movie not the Nicole Kidman remake).

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

On the second cake, all I can see is that the girls' boobs are bigger than her head...that might be normal for some, but at 13?? Come on!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA Gordon

the first one looks like she's doing crunches on a elaborately decorated volcano. if only the Kilauea volcano was sprinkled with glitter and spewing Pepto Bismol!

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteriris

Oh my gosh, where to begin ...

I agree with the Courteous Chihuahua on the fist cake; the doll is trying to hide. The weird thing is, the layer underneath Godzilla the Monster Skirt is really quite pretty.

I think the "Whoop" cake was done by the same decorator who swizzled all the green strings on that birthday cake posted a few days ago.

And the phone cake looks like an illustration from a Donna Parker book. Kids, ask your par—— I mean, your GRANDparents.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Wow, cake #2 had a woman holding some kind of bottle (beer I assume) for a kid's 13th birthday! Not entirely appropriate I think.

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Both casual ladies look like Tori Spelling! I'm glad a couple other posters had the same thought...and saved me from being the only one with 90210 flashbacks.

Sarah

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarahMama

I'm with ya on the whole LOST thing! Why do they torcher us so??

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJake and Tanya Wilson

Why does the soccer cake's perspective go all wonky? Is that a soccer player on top of that palm tree or is the wreck-ator really telling me the only safe way to view Cake Wrecks is with my glasses on? @ _ @

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersailordada_99

Anon @ 9:51 PM -- I think that's supposed to be a hairbrush. Or a hot dog. Or turkey leg. One of those, anyway...

August 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbrista

The two wide-eyed "gals" look like they are saying, "Did somebody just fart?" and looking for the culprit

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLadyRhian

The doll on the left in the last cake looks and awful lot like Misty from Pokemon.

Eileen

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Surely those two chicks on cake #4 are Bratz dolls? Only not quite as scary-looking?

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

The Great Cakewreck of Chichén Itzá!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Ok, I swear that second cake was my 13th birthday cake.......14 years ago!!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Sherri is right, the bottom one is a Mona, a traditional Easter gift in Barcelona. I should know, I'm from Barcelona myself. :)

There are two kinds of Mona: the cake with chocolate eggs and peeps on top or the favoured all-chocolate sculpture/model/whatever. Those get extremely random-- there are some beauties, though.

The usual is to make them be current in setting and plastic figurines so that kids will like them more, but the problem is that there is usually a bit of a backstock of plastic figurines... What do you do with those 700-odd extra pokémon figurines you bought 7 years ago? A Mona with only them on top doesn't sell anymore.

Solution: use them as extras in a FC Barcelona-setting Mona and create an acid trip-worthy scenario such as the bottom one. It gets worse when the traditional Catalan "Caganer" figurine is added... a crouching, pooping shepherd. People don't bat an eye. I kind of love my country. :)

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersetaypollo

And those grenade-Easter eggs are an oddly common design.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersetaypollo

I love how each player has a soccer ball of their own. Everybody wins!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For those who don't see the Rugrat, it's Angelica sitting off to the right. Noted by her bright yellow pigtails, purple dress, and purple and orange tights.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterevanescent_illusions

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