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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul132009

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

If you think animated characters today set an unrealistic standard of beauty for your kids, then you're in luck! Today's cakes will show you some great ways to lower that standard, all while teaching important life-lessons!

First, remember, girls: strong jawlines = strong women.



Also, some things are better gotten off your chest.


While others - such as missing limbs, sagging chests, and worryingly large necks - are best left unmentioned:

On the plus side, questions like "Where's the rest of her choker? Or her arm? Or her ear?" can help distract viewers from misspellings. Case in point: did you notice "bithday"?

Brenda S., Courtenay P., Aaryn C., & Beth, these cakes are beautiful, no matter what they say.

- Related Wreckage: My Youngest Wreckporter

« Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat? | Main | Sunday Sweets: Harry Potter »

Reader Comments (109)

I so did not catch Bithday

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Don't look now, but the kelp to the viewer's right of Ariel is about to chow down on her.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzebrarepeat

Wow, the second cake looks like Yoda in a wig...

And I didn't notice "bithday." >.>

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my god. . . Ariel is my favorite Disney character, and they TOTALLY ruined it! It's so sad :(

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

The star tip icing on the 103 year old Cinderella makes it look like a yarn rug - yeah, I definitely want to eat that!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Whoa...hilarious !

These cakes are all good examples of just ordering a simple cake with NO characters on it and buying party goods such as plates, cups and loot bags with the characters on them instead !

AND why even bother writing anything on a cake ? If you're there, you know what is being celebrated anyway LOL !

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Hooray ! Back to the funny, clever side of Cake Wrecks...thanks everyone ! ( can't you tell I can't stand confrontation ? )

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

oh my. I didn't even notice "bithday"! I think I would've cried if that was my cake...

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermollymouse

The last cake is also educational. You could even make a game of it; "Okay, kids! What's missing on this cake?". The kid who gets 'em all right gets a prize!!!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTattingChic

I so did not see the bithday because of the missing arm! These are hilarious!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWnedy

Ariel's jaw is dislocated, the first Cinderella is in need of a face-lift, Wonder Woman (or whomever that is) needs a bra, and the last one is just too wonky to mention. :op

~Amy B.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Perhaps the extremely pointy book is showing it's preference to the superhero she wants...you know, the ice dude instead of spiderman.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

I thought the 103 year-old Cinderella was one of those pictures where it's an old lady one way and then you squint and it the young girl at the mirror. But I kept squinting and nothing happened.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Cinderella is obviously an elderly drag queen. But why is she wearing a headset ala Judy the Time-Life operator?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Runaway Lawyer

I think Little Lovables is right, that Ariel cake pan is supposed to be for a turkey cake. So if tuna is chicken-of-the-sea, does that make mermaids turkeys-of-the-sea? (Wow, I'm a dork.)

wv: kilybia - New drug from the makers of Zoloft to treat depression. Side effects include depression, deep depression, and uneven tire wear.

myolderbrother.blogspot.com

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

In defense of the Little Mermaid cake, I think it actually turned out quite winningly. It looks like something either a child or an illustrator emulating a childish style would produce. If they'd wanted something exact they could have used a prefab printout. This has some character, and I think it's a little charming.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

That last one kinda makes you wonder if it's one of those "what's this picture missing that the other one has" type of a game, but they forgot to include the first picture.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And happy bithday to all.
My husband and I laughed so hard. Poor Cinderella.

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

Had to look up how Cinderella actually looks, after those wrecks... And according to Disney, she doesn't have ears either. Or much of an arm in that particular pose...

Cartoon anantomy = WIN!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Man oh man...that first Cinderella cake (103 y/o version?) reminds me of "Madame" from Wayland Flowers & Madame. (I'm showing my age with that reference!)

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmyLiz

The 2nd Cinderella cake reminds me of the Halloween party at my mom's retirement community last year. Several of the 70+ yr old women dressed up as Disney princesses as a joke. So funny! I laughed until I cried when I saw the photos.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

My first thought on the Ariel cake was that it was actually supposed to be Wilma Flintstone!

As for the last Cinderella cake (the 'bithday' cake), why are her lips so off-center?

oh!!! That boob and camel toe on the yellow lady superhero...I don't even know what superhero that is....made me cry laugh!

When I die, I am leaving all my money to this blog.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

Wow! That first cake is totally a love child between Ariel and Jay Leno!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I too did not notice the missing 'r'... there was just too many other missing things to look for :)

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Mandy said...
Oh goody! More "Copyright Uninfringement"!!

Those cakes made me cringe.
****************
And THAT is why we should call these cases "Copyright Incringement" instead.
=^~~^<

At least, the nasty Cinderella cake was for a 3-yr-old; the child probably thought it was BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe even wanted to keep it--forever--and never cut it ("MommEEE! NOOOO!! NO cut SinDrella HEAD!!!")...
Kid's probably all grown up and on her own...her Mom's still got the damn thing in her deep freeze, having been too sentimental to part with it. ((SIGH))

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Ooh, Ariel, infected molars are a real bummer.

Just keep demanding cocodamol till the room swims.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Have you been to Disney World? Cinderella doesn't have ears there, either. (The wig covers them.)

It's CREEPY!

Those girls are GOOD at staying in character, though. A very bored little boy literally bowled himself into Aurora's legs under her gown at a princess dinner, and she did not let loose a single curse word!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

drgns4vr said...
"I thought the 103 year-old Cinderella was one of those pictures where it's an old lady one way and then you squint and it the young girl at the mirror. But I kept squinting and nothing happened."
***************************
Seriously? Nothing?
I tried squinting (thinking maybe you were on to something here), and it DID look different!
(!!!)
Of course, maybe that's on account of the fact that I squinted so hard, I could only see the inside of my eyelids...
An improvement, nonetheless-- so thanks.
>^ee^<

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The first one looks like you're looking at Ariel if she were inside a fish bowl. You know, that water and glass effect. Maybe that's what they were going for... yeah, that's it.

The last cake was probably a mutant Cinderella.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Why no, I did not notice "bithday." I was easily distracted by the huge neck. In fact I didn't even notice the partial choker considering the overall effect was so disturbing.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

Hate to say it, but that Ariel looks like Rumer Willis.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Kaizer

you make a good point- I totally didn't notice the spelling error!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

That last one was wreckalicious! Wreck ON!!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

I also kind of love the Spiderman/Iceman/Firestar cake. And that someone actually made one.

Just needs some slight fixing. You can at least tell the characters faces look like they're supposed to.

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngelcake

My DD took one look at the 103 yo Cinderella cake and said, "That looks like Cinderella as a boy!"

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Poor Cinderella!

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwinklescrapbooks

Has anyone else noticed that besides the huge jaw, Ariel has eyes that point in different directions?

wv: extrif- these cakes are extrif ouled up

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

No, I did not notice the 'bithday'! lol

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterForensicMama

Beauty is only skin deep...
Ugly goes all the way to the bone-or in the case of these cakes, until the "decorative" part is gone (GONE, I say).
How about "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Which can morph into "Beauty is holding a pie with a pot holder."
I *give*.
Is it tomorrow yet?

=^@@^=

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh man... This blog makes me laugh out loud even on the crappiest days. Love the last "cinderella" cake. excellent. But it's your captions that totally get me. good job.
-V

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGypsyfeet

Also did you notice the necklace only goes halp way around her neck? on the 4th picture.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTom

I'm pretty sure those first two are CCCs... ack! ptooey!!

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

Is it just me, or does the first one say "Happy Birthday Hairy?"

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

*rme* so much effort...such wreckiness. The one in the yellow jumpsuit looks like she's smuggling lemons in her top.

Nice touch with the two toned red and yellow icing. Too bad it's a wreck.

wv: thelyzin - a new anti-psychotic that is given to cake decorators so they can see how horrible their wrecks are.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

You know, the last cake wouldn't have been so horrible, if certain details were not missing. T_T

Great finds! =D

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's a tribute to Vincent VanGough doing cubism with a lisp.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL that's why I won't do a person's face in cupcake-pull-apart form.

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercelestialcakes

All I see is white cartoon characters and not a single representative black face. That's SOOOOOO racist.

Also, both "The Little Mermaid" and "Cinderella" contain witchcraft and that's SOOOOOOO anti-Christian.

Both tales end with the main character surrendering her Feminine Strength and becoming a passive Wife Figure in a heterosexual marriage. Which is not only sexist but demeaning to Lesbians.

Both marry princes of the Blood Royal, which only perpetuates the empowered/unempowered class struggle.

And both are based on folk tales from Yarrup. Other countries's traditions are, like, SOOOOOO scary.

On the topic of Cinderella's ear, she just... doesn't... have one. Go back and watch the movie. Her ears NEVER show! It's so weird!

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereinahsketch

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