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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun252009

This One's For The Ladies

(NOTE: For the ladies, not the kiddies. Still SFW, though.)

NASA wanted to do something special for all the lady astronauts of the world:


And by "special", I mean something big, flaccid, curving to the right, poised to explode into the dark recesses that are out of this world, and that says "Women in Space: We've Come A Long Way".

[biting lip] Wow. So many innuendo-laced jokes, so little time. And if my mom didn't read this blog (Hi, Mom!), you can bet I'd be saying something about the fallacy that men can't organize - much less erect - a project of this size. Or how nice it is to see NASA giving women the upper hand in the space program, so that they, too, can get ahead. In fact, I'd probably wonder aloud if it wasn't rather cold in the exhibit hall, if that wouldn't put too fine a point on it.

However, since my mom *does* read this blog (Hi, Mom!), all I'm going to say is this, and to the cake creator: don't take my good-natured ribbing too hard. The fact that you got a government agency to pay for your services makes you a Wreck star.

And for you deprived souls who didn't get the FotC reference, watch this:


- Related Wreckage: Dirty-Minded Decorators

UPDATE: For you doubting Thomases calling "photoshop" and getting John all aggravated, here's another photo of the same cake:

John is so ridiculously happy about the discovery of this second photo that he's currently singing "Don't Worry, There's Another Shuttle Photo, Be Happy" while I'm typing.

Clearly, I need to get him out of the house more.

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Reader Comments (237)

John, I don't think anyone's accusing you of shopping that yourself. But who submitted it? Did you check with NASA that the cake looked like that?

I mean, look at it close up. The edge of the penis looks cut out. Badly cut out, in fact.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Oooh my...=D Looking forward on your next post. Have a great day.=D

http://www.soloden.com/" rel="nofollow">A Writers Den
http://julesmariano.com/" rel="nofollow">The Brown Mestizo

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

Hyena Overlord said...
John (husband of Jen) said: "sagged due to heat, mishandling or it's own weight."

Snorks up a Mae West cake laughing,,,sagged...mishandling...weight*L*L
**********
No kidding--
Mae certainly would've had something edgy and raunchy and totally West-y to say about that cake; WHAT, I can only imagine.
>^~~^<

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Morgan,

*sigh*

Okay. Cake 101 for those of you who are so quick to call fake on this cake. First off, the shuttle has a large external fuel tank which is about to that scale and is that odd rusty color. The decorator in this case chose to airbrush the surface which gives it that mottled appearance. The fact that it is lumpy is most likely due the the undercoating of buttercream icing that is usually applied to the cake to make the fondant stick. You need to smooth the fondant.

Next, it is almost impossible to get a piece of fondant that big since it would sag under its own weight and break apart. So the decorator did the fondant in stages to make it all work, most likely starting from the bottom up. When the decorator laid the top piece of fondant over the top, there was a seam which fell about a quarter of the way down and that would make the ridge necessary.

The thing sticking out of the top is most likely an uncut dowel that is used to support the cake and which the decorator probably left to look like the spike at the top of the fuel tank.

And lastly, the gold halo is probably the glare off of the shiny, painted fondant from the overhead lights.

What gets me, is that the whole cake is sagging and lopsided so why is it at all hard to believe that the huge fuel tank would sag as well? And why would anyone take the time to photoshop an already poorly done cake?

*sigh*

I have said too much.

Good morrow to you all.

john

Ryan said...
Oh come on..."for the ladies"?! What about gay men? We want a piece of that cake too! Or at least a picture with it that we could post on Facebook!
***********************
GO for it! HAVE your piece of cake and post it, too!
I'm thinking that you just may have to really, actually fake/copy/photoshop your picture, though; it's just not something you see every other day, quite.
But good luck!
=^~-^=

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It does look delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I think I want it /in/ me.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Ok, so it's early and my coffee hasn't kicked in yet. I looked at this cake, and saw the white space shuttle pieces and thought, "well, it's not that phallic". Then I saw the fuel tank.

Then I really saw the fuel tank.

Then I had to sheild my eyes!!!! WOW.

Fully awake now, thanks....

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Mmmmm...Interesting...That fuel tank reminds me of someone...

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

John, I never doubted you for a moment!

Dear EMT, I have a boyfriend at home with a lovely, ah, rocketship. Fortunately, his is not rusted and sideways leaning. ;) LMAO

So yeah I want to bake this weekend now...ahahaha...but I think I'll stay with a more traditional theme!

P.S. Fondant embossing rollers ROCK!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Damn Jermaine looks swoon-tastic... sigh...

I'm so 2nd hand embarrassed by that cake...

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertracyvanhorne

Oh my GAWD!!!!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Ha! I had just blogged about Freudian slips, and here we have it on Cakewrecks. I have a link to cakewrecks on my blog, and if this doesn't count as blatant advertising, I'd like to plug it here: girlswillbewomen.blogspot.com.

best part: curved to the right

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBathilda

It's a fire hydrant.
WV: phally. Yes, it is phally.
It seems weirdly appropriate...

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Zap Brannigan....The "Zapster", The "Big Z"....
Oh wait, that's Zaphod Beeblebrox.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

The super business looking guy on the iPhone has actually just taken a picture of the cake and is now sending it to all his poker buddies!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I love how prudes think their small children have never seen, wondered about, or giggled at genitalia. I'm also endlessly amused that they feel the need to protect the innocents from the deep, psychological damage that surely will occur upon seeing something that vaguely resembles unclad body parts. Give me a break. Please. You want to avoid damaging your child's psyche? Stop recoiling in disgust at the human body.

Gore, dead animal carcasses, poo, dismembered body parts, blood, female parts... that's all okay and "family friendly". But omg please whatever you do - don't post a cakey phallus! We'll all go straight to hell just looking at the dirtydirty thing!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This post is so full of win. Especially the FotC reference!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I love, love, love, love, love (x 7826417906621460871529027618903) Flight of the Conchords! That is all.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Oh my....I don't even know what to say!!!! :P

WV: penicade - something similar to a solid wall, with the purpose of blocking.....phallus-shaped objects.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

What could make Cake Wrecks cooler? A FoTC reference, that's what. Respect.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbethmohler

All you sexy hermaphrodite lady-men-ladies with your sexy lady bits, and your sexy man bits too. Even you must be into you-hoo-hoo!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is the "lady" astronaut Sally Ride?

(cue music) Ride, Sally Ride, upon your big spaceship...

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

"Um, Houston, we have a problem..." :-p

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Love FotC (saw them in Atlanta in April) and love this very well endowed cake! If I am not mistaken, it looks like this picture was made at the US Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, AL. Am I correct? I used to live there, and it looks an awful lot like their building.

Love this site! Keep up the good work!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereaner729

I think you may have a bit of a photoshop job on the big, red... uh rocket. If you look closely at the tip, there seems to be an overlap with another structure.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTammy B

well, at least its circumcised.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

O_O
Oh dear.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

yeah, tammy B is right... enlarge the shot and you'll see the tip (sorry) has been altered (shopped). too bad. it's funny to me that people are so into this site that they'd actually take the time to alter a shot like that, just to get it posted.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustin

LOL! That's amazing, and I'll bet the women astronauts were very amused, considering their history in the space program.

For those calling photoshop, I disagree. If you look at the actual images from NASA, that's... what the shuttle looks like while preparing for launch (snickers inappropriately.) They won't let you link directly to pics there, but http://www.starshipmodeler.com/real/shuttleref.htm" rel="nofollow">here's a reference image and http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/shuttlemissions/sts127/multimedia/gallery/gallery-index.html" rel="nofollow">here's the NASA gallery. NASA Picture #29 of the shuttle Endeavor is a good reference for comparison. TY for the laugh, Cake Wrecks!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

This is awesome. The puns awesome.
The comments are awesome. The few prudes didn't even spoil it, because that is so clearly an overreaction.

Except the ones about photoshopping. I vote that you don't let those through moderation. They fall in the mean-spirited category.
People accusing you of being an accessory to wreckfraud is not necessary.
Stop it people! Not funny. Changing resolution can make a photo look shopped. All the thing john pointed out.
Just let it go...let the non-paranoid rest of us enjoy the wrecks.
Alex

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To the conspiracy people,

boo

ya

Nothing like a second picture to put things in perspective.

Thank you Anonymous person, whoever you are!

john

Ha!

Also, I instantly started singing the FotC song before I even scrolled that far.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

God. Even in the second pic, they've got like some vein-action going on (look further down the shaft.) Not even going to try to make it punny, just going with anatomical terms.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril Murphy

Love love love the puns.

Now if you can weave FOtC song 'It's Business Time' into a future daily dose of CakeWrecks, (like an engagement or wedding cake) it would be sooo perfect.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I really hope that the photoshopping accusations have ceased. Boo ya indeed.

Miranda: Good for you, m'dear. Didn't stop you seeing the similarity, though, did it? ;)

EMT

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My husband used to work for NASA and this cake has just completely made his day. He nearly peed himself when I showed it to him. I think I'm going to forward it to NASA watch.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWynnster

wtf

the weird "bad cutout" outline is actually a part of the cake. it's almost like NASA wanted you to think it was photoshopped...

IT WAS A SOUND STAGE ON MARS

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

I LOVE the FOTC - funniest thing - I watch it on youtube, have the CD and dvd of 1st season (can't afford HBO though, darn).
Thanks you for combining 2 of my favorite things....cake wrecks and fotc - what a special treat for me. I knew I liked you.
deb from MA

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

to Aurora (poster) - you MUST use Business time for that song - it would be pricelss!
deb from MA

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh. My. I really don't think I could eat that cake. The resemblance is too close. And as for cutting it - I would just hope no guys had to watch that. Ouch.

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

I'm thrilled you found another image of this cake.

There's nothing more annoying than a person who lists their credentials in order to give credence to their argument, but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm a digital imaging professional, with nearly two decades of experience. I've worked as an digital imaging artist and expert consultant for a variety of organizations, agencies, and companies. My work has included preparing statements on whether images have been digitally manipulated.

What I can tell you for certain, is that despite the prevalence of "it's photoshopped" comments on the internet, one is not always able to tell by "looking" whether an image has been altered from its original state. Images can contain elements lit by a variety of light sources. This alone is often a cause for misinterpretation. One of the most common misinterpretations is caused by camera flashes. Flashes cast unusual shadows and highlights, depending on distance, surface, etc. Objects in the foreground lit by a flash might appear out of place from backgrounds because they're lit with a different light source. Flashes often cast shadows that cause objects to appear outlined.

I could go on, but let's just say there are surprisingly few ways to actually know for certain that an image has been digitally altered, and they have more to do with mathematics than what the image looks like. Or in this case, provenance.

Did I say there's nothing more annoying than someone who boasts their credentials to bolster an argument? I take that back. There is one thing more annoying, and that's a person who really has no idea what he or she is talking about spewing "it's photoshopped!" every time they see an unusual image on the internet.

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

mmmmmmmm..........cake

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is just so wrong! Oh my gosh, you just found a real winner for the site.

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin Katherine

Blueiguana...
Shuttlecock...heh heh heh...(insert Beavis here_)

And John, way to hang in there! :D

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKel

You cracked me up again.
Seriously, where is your cartoon strip?

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

When I first found Cake Wrecks I thought it was a source of good clean fun. I thought you had a higher standard of entertainment. I feel slimed by looking at this post and I won't be visiting your site again. I don't know when you will mix the slime with the good stuff again. Yuck!

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Dear Sandi,

I am sorry to hear you were so offended by the post. In our defense, it is still a family friendly post. I believe that all children up to about 16 would see nothing more than a space shuttle and the innuendo laced commentary would never be understood by young minds.

That said, it is your absolute right not to read Cake Wrecks any more. We hate to see you go especially since this week is basketballs and character wedding cakes.

Yours,

john

"Sky rockets in flight...afternoon's delight"

Sorry, that's all I can think of when I see that cake.

xoxoxo
Peach Melba

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN_BBzYdBvk&feature=related

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh please. BOTH of my grancmothers and my great grandmother saw this and laughed until they cried. The cake is not intentionally phallic, and anyone getting offended by this post is overreacting. The photo is not just funny because it looks like a gianormous wang sheathed in a cherry flavored condom (though that is a pretty significant part), it how unintentional it is. And to put it in perspective? The cherry flavored condom bit came from my 85 year old great grandmother.

Ashley

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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