Gothic Miss
May 13, 2009 You guys keep asking for 'em, so who am I to deprive you of some rich schadenfreude?
What the bride wanted:
Personally I think the dripping ganache thing looks a little Sylar-esque, but it turns out that's intentional; the happy couple planned to use a Corpse Bride topper, and so wanted an elegant Gothic vibe.
Instead, they got more of a dumpy glazed-doughnut vibe:
[snickering] I'm sorry, but I think I'm in love with this photo. As you scroll down, first you see the incredulous expression on the bride's face (she's the one in green), and then...THE WRECK. Hah! Hoo boy, that's good stuff. In fact, I've been amusing myself by picturing a little thought bubble over her head, and filling in the blanks*. Hehheheh.
Fortunately she didn't let it ruin her big day, though: you can read the bride's account of everything on her blog here.
And here's a better view of the Wreckage:
Niiiice. That chocolate looks positively...crinkly. On the (literal) bright side, though, the blindingly reflective "rose leaves" prevented any of the guests from looking directly at the cake. See, Christiana M.? There's a silver lining to everything!
*But why should I have all the fun? Give me your best caption in the comments. The one that makes John giggle 'til he snorts wins!
Reader Comments (259)
"Well, That's the last time I go to Walmart for my special occasion cakes!"
"Um... what is that?" would be my reaction. Looking at that cake makes me slightly nauseous. I would have cried if I were the bride.
I love the fact that Victor is looking down, and looks utterly bewildered by the wreck.
"Uh... WTF were they thinking?!?!?! This is NOT what we ordered!!!!!"
Tried posting, but my browser crashed. (D'oh!)
At the risk of posting twice:
Caption:
"Are you sure we have to use this as the cake? It looks like it'd make a mighty fine ring pillow."
I'm glad the bride was able to shrug this off. I'm just starting to plan for our wedding, and I'm getting jitters just looking at these. Then again, it wouldn't hurt if the cake did turn out to look horrible. I'd just send it to Cake Wrecks. ;-)
Caption:
"Huh."
Nothing more. Nothing more.
My vote is for Karen's caption:
"I said I wanted the cake reduced to two tiers, not a cake that would reduce me to tears."
-----------------------------------
One reason why I eloped is that I probably would have been a lot like Ruby Slippers and said, "You know what? I don't feel like going crazy over the cake, so let's just get something that won't cost us an arm and a leg." And I probably would have ended up with something like this, too.
Makes you wonder what Ruby Slipper's baker's own wedding cake looked like. Maybe he did a sloppy job on hers because he was so preoccupied with his own and just rushed their order out at the last minute.
@RubySlippers - I just think it's important to compare apples to apples, give people context. The first thing I thought when I saw your cake was that this bakery was clearly not qualified to make the type of cake you wanted, not that they somehow didn't understand your request. I have that complaint about a lot of cakes I see on here, not just yours. And unfortunately, skills and experience to make something big and fancy cost money.
For the exchange rate thing, I know it's not exactly equivalent, but I didn't see any other way to get a grasp on how (un)reasonable the cake prices were. How does 1000 rand compare to what you would pay for a cheap grocery store cake?
@Haiku Joy: the bride is quoting South African currency in her post, not dollars. There's a conversion rate of about 10:1.
"Well...it's certainly scary...just not in the way I'd hoped!"
Bride: "Ok, y'know? This would be a lot funnier if i was a cop."
For the bubble, "Well, it could be worse. Just think: I could've married this cake decorator."
I said "gothic" not "tragic"
"I really need to learn to say no. Why did I agree to let his mom make our cake?"
You are a good sport Ruby Slippers! I'm headed to read your blog now :)
My crappy cake is overflowing...
No caption, but the inspiration cake is gorgeous!
Pins, pins and needles!
Waiting for confirmation
From John's snort-guffaw.
wv: caterb
Song by Beables: "Seeking words of wisdom . . . caterb, caterb . . ."
Combined with the cake topper, i'd have to caption this the "ungrateful dead" lol. Poor woman, i can't imagine how horrifying it was to see that. lol
Okay, I've been to her blog and totally don't get the goth theme for the cake. There is NOTHING else in her wedding that suggests goth. Not her dress, her hairstyle, the venue, the groomsmens outfits. The hall decorations, the invitations...NOTHING!!!
So why the goth cake????
"urgh. that's what i get for asking the lady in trailor #3 to make my cake. shoulda went with wal-mart like ma said."
*snicker*
Can the readers vote? Thomas Westgard's caption made me laugh so hard I snorted.
And Ruby Slippers, I'm glad you didn't let it ruin your day! If anything, you've got a great story to tell your grandchildren when they ask you about your wedding.
"is this the cake that is going to be on the cakewrecks cover?"
I don't have a thought to put in the bubble, but I do want to vote and say that Rebecca's from around 10:16 A.M. is THE ABSOLUTE BEST!
@ Lucky Wife re the Barbara name comment - Hey, I didn't know we'd met! Or was I too drunk to remember?? LOL
"Ma ! It looks like the stay-puft marshmallow man was in your garden again ! And he poo'd on the table !!"
Oooh Tough one... I'm between Rebecca and Karen's comments... Ummm and my own of course cause I'm a laugh a minute :oD
Glad I'm not the only one who loves the "they asked for this but got THIS" posts best.
singing MacArthur Park by Richard Harris "Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again...Oh no..."
"I'll title this picture 'wreckollections' in my wedding scrapbook"
corkdorkdan said...
"The first thing I thought when I saw your cake was that this bakery was clearly not qualified to make the type of cake you wanted, not that they somehow didn't understand your request. I have that complaint about a lot of cakes I see on here, not just yours."
So, in your opinion, corkdork, when does the bakery have the responsibility to turn down an order that they know they shouldn't take?
What if the bakery has a book full of pictures of nice cakes? What if the bride shows them her picture and they assure her they can make it, instead of admitting that they can't?
Doesn't the bakery have the obligation to follow through on the contract, no matter what price they've agreed upon? Or do you think that any couple paying less than $300 deserves a crappy looking cake, just on principal?
Caption:
"Oh great, now my picture on Cake Wrecks is going to be me in these curlers."
"I'm sorry, honey. She must have thought that 'goth' meant the same thing as 'oh, it's SUPPOSED to look bad."
"Give me the pitchfork. I am SO going after those [insert preferred descriptive noun here] at Piggly Wiggly."
"Holy crap!" "Precisely."
"This looks nothing like Epcot."
come come, let's be reasonable. it seems they had a film noire/ movie theme, and it was a very classy cake they were after! i think the price sounds reasonable, but then, i made my own cake.
wv: theedome (sounds like a stadium)
Captions:
WTF?!?
You've got to be kidding me!
I certainly hope they don't think we're paying for this!
No really; you've got to be kidding me!
There's no time to fix this.
This is _so_ going on Cake Wrecks.
Although Victor screwed up by buying silk flowers rather than pay for a real florist, and the rain caused a muddy puddle that got all over his bride's shoes, he was able to make it up to Emily on their wedding day by offering to submit their photo to her favorite blog, Cake Wrecks.
OMG! LOL@ ENNA! SERIOUSLY WORTH THE TIME TO GO SEE HER THOUGHT BUBBLES
That's the photograph RIGHT THERE that you need for your book cover! Seriously!
Caption:
I knew my fiance was nervous but did he have to have an accident on the cake?? What do we do with a poo stained cake??
Pick any of the three in the picture:
"...Huh."
It's gotta be one of those undecided tone huhs, though. With a bit of an upward chin action or a slow "well, there it is" sort of nods.
This has GOT to be the book cover. The expressions are priceless!!!!
Caption: "Oh. My. Goth. I am going to die. Again."
I do not have a caption for the bride but i think the look on the toppers faces says "oh god, what chocolate quick sand is this?"
OH MY GOD. How disappointed would you be!!!
Caption, "It's got roses on it. You like roses."
~Goth Bunnyy
Trying agian . .
"It's got roses on it . . . You like roses."
@corkdorkdan: I see your point that the baker turned out not to be qualified for this kind of job, but I wasn't to know that. If they had this kind of picture in their book I wouldn't actually have hired them! I agree with Gwen - so if a bride pays less than X amount for a cake, then she has to assume it's going to be a wreck? That's not fair.
A storebought cake that you find on regular shelves is usually about 40 or 50 Rand. That's just one tier, of course. That's why I couldn't fathom paying R2700 for a cake to feed less than 70 people!
@Judy: I wasn't trying to have a gothic theme (that was Cake Wreck's own assumption). The Corpse Bride thing was partly because of the *movie* theme we had, and just because it was cute and quirky. Oh, and also because our wedding was on Halloween. As for the cake, we just liked it. No ulterior gothic motive!
And for those of you who asked: It actually tasted great! So that was something.
"Someone grab the plunger, I think my cake's backed up!"
wv coness- Ruby Slippers must've talked to the coness at the bakery who led her to believe they could pull the inspiration cake off.
quotes!
bride: "ooh, how interesting! it's not what i asked for, but look at the patterns! all that black and white! and it's much bigger than i expected, too! if only we could get that brown-red-white lumpy thing off of it..."
mother: "er... that's the table, honey. that... brown-red-white lumpy thing- that's the cake."
bride: oh....
Now voting for Briana
"this looks nothing like Epcot"
What's even funnier is that in the picture with the cake topper, it really looks like Victor (the male figure) is also gazing at the cake in disbelief.
WV: unding - what the baker's life will be if tha bride ever gets her hands on him/her.