Monday
Oct262009
Autumn Terrors
October 26, 2009 When you see your typical bakery display filling up with disembodied plastic fingers and red corn syrup drenched eyeballs you know Halloween is nearly upon us. Of course, those cakes are trying to be gross, gory, and/or creepy.
[sing-song voice] Bo-ring!
Personally, I prefer the cakes that were going for cutesy, but didn't quite make it. You know, like this:
Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!!Don't you worry about Billy, though...
...I hear he qualified for the "bale out" program. (Hay!)
I don't think this next one was going for cute, exactly, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't going for this level of creepy, either:
Um. Wow. The monster mash just got a leeetle bit awkward.So anyway, you can keep your rat-gnawed arms and zombie brain cakes; to me, no baked good will ever be as terrifying as this thing:
Aaaauugh!Denise, Surlana, Matt L., & Kourtny, I will never look at fried eggs the same way again. Thanks.
- Related Wreckage: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
Reader Comments (106)
haha I'm with Stephen and Jagyularr - the first thing I thought of on that last one was "Chilly Down with the Fire Gang". Nice. But, even if that was the intention, it was pretty poorly done.
"Snake Eyes!!!" haha I love Labyrinth.
http://thecakeversionsofthings.blogspot.com/
OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?! *runs screaming*
I have no idea what that is crawling out of the frosting leaf pile, but I'll take it home. ^.^
and call it George and pet it and stroke it and hug it...
...and flush it down the toilet so it can grow to enormous size in the warm dark sewers.
Are we sure that last one isn't something from the Jim Henson Creature Shop or an extra in Labrynth (sp)?
Obviously some of these bakeries (or bakery sections as the case may be,) do NOT put these "decorators" through a trial period to see if they can actually decorate a cake. Scary!
I've been staring at that last cake for at least the last five minutes trying in vain to figure out even a minute possibility of what it could be but all I've got is Leaf Monster. Maybe it's supposed to be a Leaf Monster...I don't know. All I know is that I would never buy cake #1 as cutting into the head of anything, scarecrow or not, is disturbing.
The green monster impressed me, but that last cake scared me. How could someone make that? When I see thongs like that, even if I don't want to, I start to believe in monsters, or something like that. (Note: I like Halloween.) His eyes are madly scaring. eheheh
After the first shock, that last cake makes me laugh. Is this hysteria? \0/
I see that 50 other people already echoed my same "What the heck is that thing?!" sentiments.
I'm liking the Labyrinth idea though... whether intentional or not!
I'm pretty sure that last cake is the severed head of a Furby.
That last one looks like a horse that's been stepped on.
What the hell is the last one? It's like possesed sunny side up eggs wearing a hat made of feathers.
@Jagyularr: Omg, i thought the same thing.
http://www.thebothanspy.com/images/interview/8/gallery/11_250pxFiery1.jpg
Maybe they were going for Fierie? If so, well done, Wreckerator.
I will now leave my opinion on each pic because you know I have no life:
1. Besides being a yellow pumpkin scarecrow hybrid theres almost nothing wrong with this guy. It's just the genius Wreckie wanted everything perfect so he meade something to center the face on! In BLACK icing, and then to add to the insult the wreckie forgot to take it off because haveing blacklines going across the face is SO much worse than the eyes being off center.
2. Why this dead scarcrow is simply Magnificent! But why in the world is he wearing that bright orange beret? Oh it's a pumpkin? But aren't pumpkins round? Oh it's the flat because you dropped the pumpkin from the roof of the barn onto his head. THen you took the body and stuffed in a hay bale to hide it. Uh well I uh got to go now *shuffles nervously to the next pic.*
3. *relieved to be away from the scarcrow murder* Well this is a....disturbing cake. What is this thing. I want you.... *flips over card* To make a frog cake. *stares at cake looking for the resemblence between fraken frog and a real frog* The resemblance: They are both green. Looks at the weird fingers, and weird sprinkle choice: You know I think you can sue for this....or at least get you money back for them barfing on it.
4. *rubbing the awfulness from my eyes* I hope this is a nice normal wreck, maybe a mispelling or tw- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL WRECKED CAKES WHAT IS THAT!. Suddenly the terrible truth dawns on her, how can anbody be this color/iceing blind. I think (looks in horror at the color catrastrophe) that they were trying to make I don't know a group of leaves but obviously it turn out right so the manager in a vain attempt to save the wasted icing searches around, the only icing left is white and yellow ( the brain dead employee has used all the decent fall colors on the...thing) so he quickly draws big white eyes and yellow iris (because you no some monsters have yellow eyes) than finds the thing lacks a mouth. He quickly finds two stale surger cookies they were going to throw out, fills it with whit icing for the mouth, hlaway through to the managers horror he runs out of white icing, he quickly grabs the yellow and does the rest of the beak/mouth with that color. Than he puts on the display proud of his quick thinking. He then sacks the poor wreckie.
Thank you thank you. This is my impression of what happened to each and every cake *bows*
-Tilly
That last one reminds me of one of the Fiery Gang who left his head behind... only now his mouth is made of cookies.
I can see I'm not the only one who saw the Labyrinth resemblence. Great minds, and all that. :)
LOL "Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!" Sounds vaguely Wizard-of-OZ-esque with a hint of the Queen of Hearts, no?
WV:ousio...almost ouzo ;)
Jen...I love you. But not in a creepy, restraining-order kinda way. You're the Friday night margarita of the blogophere.
The last one looks like a Thanksgiving mutant - fall leaves and deviled eggs.
What the hell is that t hing in the last picture!? I'm going to have nightmares of deviled-egg eyed monsters with autumn leaf hair chasing me all night long.
And i thought the first few pictures were scary. Oh no.
Um, on the "I want you" cake...what is that, an alien receiving a note from his/her stalker?
and the last CW...my first thought was "smashed deviled eggs." Yum!
What... what is it??
Love the Leaf Monster: "Go ahead. Jump in. You know you want to. Colorful, crispy leaves piled high. Nom, nom."
Last one - what the h--- IS That thing??!?
(Capcha: outher "O noe, it's a cakething! Get outher fast!")
The "bale-out" comment did me in.
These are just... bizarre.
WV - forti: Good luck trying to catch forti winks after seeing these wrecks!
Are you sure Billy the Scarecrow isn't Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw from last Easter now in Halloween garb?
ahhhhhhh! i am running! ;)
What the hell is that last thing??? I shall remember it always in my nightmares. WOW.
xDD
The third one immediately made me think of that Beatles song..."I Want You/She's So Heavy." And subsequently that scene in Across the Universe.
I can see it now--a giant green monster reaching out from the picture to grab you AND EAT YOUR BRAINS!
Is it just me, or does cake #1 look like it started life as a basketball?
@Kelly--it so totally IS Spud! That was actually my first thought. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the heebity-jeebies from that guy. "Farmer pickles finally gave him his comeuppance..."
ROFL!
I see David Lynch has taken a second job as a cake decorator.
The "bale-out" actually did achieve cute, imho. Just my $0.02
I couldn't flutter
my lashes, so I thought I'd
spell it out for you.
The worst thing about the green monster cake is that it was made at a chain grocery store. We saw the first one and took the picture. A week later, in another location, we saw it again. Cincinnatians, beware! ~Molly
At least the creepy monster cake didn't say, "I won't you", as is normally seen on such wrecks.
I have to say that the hay bale with the scarecrow in it doesn't look like a wreck to me. I think it's cute - clever concept. It looks homemade, too, and not professionally done. I think whoever did it did a very nice job!
Is that last one anything but frosting and a couple cookies? How can that be food?
the green one is priceless - made me spit tea all over the keyboard and I don't want to know what my roommate thinks is going on.
Goodness! What kind of scary thing was the last one. Hope it will not be in my dreams this night.
Summer
http://www.soloden.com/" rel="nofollow">A Writers Den
http://julesmariano.com/" rel="nofollow">Brown Mestizo
That "bale out" cake is adorable! Your posting of it was late a day. :)
(first post)
just to say, 'Cake Wrecks' blogsite was featured on the Graham Norton Show on the BBC last night!
brilliant, hope it brings even more wreckeration!
hmm. the verification word is octipig... haven't i seen that as a cake somewhere?
Actually, I LIKE the last two. Poor little sad Green alien thing.
That's like a "pity" cake. I'd take him home just because he seems so very needy.
The final one looks like a psychotic hedgehog. As there was a story on NPR recently about a hedgehog on anti-psychotic medication, I call that last cake timely.
Did I drop acid and just not remember?
I like the green one though...His eyes are a win!
WHAT eve IS that last one? The creature from the Fall lagoon?
I think they may have been going for a "Nuckelavee" In which case, it's really not such a bad job . . . of course, if you have to reach into ancient Scottish lore to make sense of it. . .
http://www.monstropedia.org/index.php?title=Nuckelavee
I have a pic on my cell phone of the "I want you!" cake! This must be the kit of the season or something. I was going to send it in, but someone beat me to it!
Heather
Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!
Rocketqueen92
My 8 year old was shoulder surfing, and when I got to the last cake, he screamed 'aaaarrrgggh it's got eggs on it'.
I'm still laughing over the "bale out".
Yeah...that last one definitely looks like the fireys from Labyrinth:
http://www.movieforum.com/movies/titles/labyrinth/images/fireys.jpg
...which were HELLA creepy by the way.
Hahahaha I recognize the 'alien' thing one! It was in a grocery store like 5 minutes from my house! I was literally cursing out loud that my camera was dead because I wanted to take a pic n send it here! So good job to whoever did!